Apologies, it's a bit of an essay!
Over the years I have joined WW and slimming world and sometimes been quite successful, but my success depends on my mind set and whether I am in that 'zone'. Sometimes even though I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I needed to do something, I just couldn't motivate myself to stick to anything, and out the snacks came!
Just my opinion of course, but you sound to me that you are not in that 'zone'. No one can do it for you- although sometimes little comments from people can give you the kick up the bum you need, but sometimes it can make you feel so horrible that you reach for the cookie jar and put on a good film to take away your misery! Also looking at pictures of me from behind also helped give a big kick up the bum!!
I am happy to say that I found my 'zone'. It was actually a conversation I had with my mum about a foot problem she has and how she must lose weight. Previous to this, I had always done the slimming journey alone (despite mum needing to lose weight) She would always say there's no point 2 of us paying, so you go and I will eat the same. Trouble is she didn't follow it to the letter and it was always quite demoralising seeing her cheating or not having healthy extras etc because she didn't actually remember the ins and outs of the diet, and how it had changed since the 10/15yrs ago she had done it! I diverse... So we had this conversation and I said to her that I was happy to start losing too, but I didn't want her second guessing the diet and that she should at least join for a month so that she had the book and she could read it for herself and have the members talk etc! (I actually was planning on doing the plan without going to group with her this time). But she agreed to it and said she would buy a 6 week countdown if both of us went! I didn't want to pass this opportunity up so I said yes!
Before this conversation I wasn't in that mindset, that 'zone', but suddenly with my mum, my slimming partner, I felt motivated to get on and go for it. Just for 6 weeks though as we didn't want to shell out too much money.
So week 1 and things were going well. We weighed in and mum had a phenomenal weight loss and week 2 and 3 etc! I was doing well too and when I saw the transformation, it was contagious! We were planning meals and doing so well. Got to week 5 and we had one week left, and mum said she had decided to carry on going to class because she felt if she stopped getting the group support, she might not continue. So we did and we both got to target a few months ago.
I actually set my target a little higher than I would have liked but was still happy to have free lifetime membership, and you can always lower it at another time.
THEN... I discovered 5:2, the fast diet. I heard all these amazing health benefits and my health isn't that great so I looked into it. You eat normally for 5 days of the week, and limit your calories to 25% of your personal recommended daily allowance (in my case about 550 calories) for just 2 non consecutive days a week. I started 8 weeks ago and have lost 9lbs in addition to my target weight at slimming world! I still actually follow the slimming world principles but I'm not afraid to treat myself either on feast days.
What is so fab about this diet is ANYONE can do it - you don't need any memberships or expensive books. And you are only dieting for 1 day at a time, knowing that 'I won't have that gorgeous cheesecake in the fridge today, but I can eat it tomorrow!' It's a different type of willpower required because you don't have to deprive yourself on your feast days.
I think you would benefit from the fast diet- so maybe look into it. But you will fail at the first hurdle if you can't get into that 'zone'. So my advice, sign up to 5:2 facebook support group online- they are fab! And get yourself a slimming buddy for the journey. When you are ready, you will get there. xx