Getting over ex's?

[Violet Star]

you should forget him and divert your self to anything or to anyone...
many of guys are have that attitude,they just coming around and pulling you back but they dont want to commit again they just being playing safe or maybe we dont want to loose you but he doesnt love you anymore...
so you better move on and forget him..i know soon you'll find another man that is responsible and better than him..!
just enjoy on what you have now.!

You cant just forget about someone who you have been with for 4 years and still love? i wish i could just forget him but his still there in my memories and mind.
He does still love me just doesnt want a relationship.

 

[weezie]

If you completely love someone then nothing you do will intensionally hurt that person and you will go out of your way to make that person happy, whatever it takes. If he truly loved you you would not be feeling like this. Maybe he needs time to realise how he feels about you, but for now you should do all you can to stop yourself from being hurt in the long term even if this means the pain of breaking off intimacy in the short term. I am speaking from experience. :hug:

 

[Poshfloss]

Hi Hun,
I have to agree with 1999judy, I knew she would have something spot on to say.
To me your relationship screams CONTROL FREAK!!!! Been there , done it, luckily I eventually got out, after a very traumatic time, but have to be honest I didn't see it at the time, mine went on for much longer, with 2 children involved, thought I loved him..............NO now know I NEVER did.
My ex kidknapped my boys.......lost them for 3 years.....control freaks get worse as time goes on.
Found my prince..........I now know what true love is and I am keepig him, been married now 13 years........and still sooo in love.
You would not be feeling this way if you had dumped him.........stick him in the bin!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to sound so harsh.........be happy for you, live for you, and more happiness will come to you.
Lotsa luv x :hug: :hug: :hug: xx

 

[Zo Zo]

Accepting that it's over is a good place to start, rather than fantasizing about how you would like things to be, and hoping that he will change. Painful as it will be, I do agree with others that a clean break is a good idea. Try to fill your diary up with other social commitments, as the busier you are, the less time you will spend thinking about him. And that in itself will become a habit... without even realising it, you will think about him less and less. You also need to have the belief that there is something better out there for you too :hug:

 

[Bonkers]

well he has been back since tues and so far so good i havent text or called him to see how he is if he was that bothered he would have been in touch with me. i have managed to complete lots of things in the last 2 days i wouldnt have by keeping myself busy and i am booked on a flirties course tomorrow.

i think by concentrating on yourself is the best thing hun, i recently joined a free dating site and even though i have no intention on meeting any of them (i dont have the time if i wanted to) the compliments you receive do make you think actually yes i am this and i am that and when you are writing your profile you can see just how fab you really are and why you do not need a man like that in your life. Im not an attention seeker but joining this site has actually given me confidence i was lacking in myself and looked at myself from others points of view.

I understand just how hard it is I would so love for everything to work out and for us to be happy and together etc, we never even have had an argument. lol. but it takes 2 make a relationship and if he isnt wanting the same things then it will never work.

hope you are ok xx

 

[chantell simone]

It sounds to me like you both want very different things from a relationship, this is something that you need to accept in order to move

I was once told "the best way to get over one man is to get under another!" It made me laugh out loud, I am not suggesting you go out and do this but it made me smile at a time when i was feeling very down

 

[Florriedee]

I have a marvellous book called The Rules by Sherrie Scheider and Ellen Stein. It is fantastic! It tells you everything about getting and keeping a man and it doesn't pull its punches. They would tell you to bin him as 'he is just not that into you' and you are a 'creature unlike any other'. That is their main premise, that you are so special that any man would be grovelling on their knees to have you and if they aren't then find someone who is! You know how there is always that chap who calls and texts and emails but you just don't fancy him and he won't leave you alone? That is how you have to treat the chaps you do like. Absolutely back off, leave him alone, turn your phone off, sit on your hands, chain yourself to the radiator, whatever it takes, just don't make contact with him. If he call you you can answer the phone but only 5 mins talking then you have to go, even if you don't have anything to do for the rest of your life, HE MUSTN'T KNOW THAT! I can't tell you how marvellous the book is! You can get it on Amazon just do a search. It realiy is worth a read, even if just for a laugh! Give it a go. And good luck! Lx

 

[Lauz]

I have a marvellous book called The Rules by Sherrie Scheider and Ellen Stein. It is fantastic!

Sounds like a fun book! :green: However, i done a search for it on amazon, and there seem to be loads...what does yours look like?

thanks x:hug:

 

[lenna]

You cant just forget about someone who you have been with for 4 years and still love? i wish i could just forget him but his still there in my memories and mind.
He does still love me just doesnt want a relationship.

dont mean to sound harsh but if he did still love you then he would not bare to be without you, he would commit because without you by his side his life would not be complete, he is having his cake and eating it too, plainly cause you are alllowing it, men can only treat you how you allow them to, you will never change what you accept and tolerate, if he loved you he would be commiting to you, i think for your on sake and self respect you need to tell him you just aint that inbeterested anymore, miss his calls, get busy, join clubs or something to occupy your time, let him know that you have moved on and dont wait around for any guy, then if he does really love u he will come back, but come on your worth more than being treated like a doormat you were not created just to be used and abused. i think maybe your viewing him the way youd like to see him rather than seeing his faults and seeing that how he treats you certainly does not make him a gentleman

 

[Violet Star]

dont mean to sound harsh but if he did still love you then he would not bare to be without you, he would commit because without you by his side his life would not be complete, he is having his cake and eating it too, plainly cause you are alllowing it, men can only treat you how you allow them to, you will never change what you accept and tolerate, if he loved you he would be commiting to you, i think for your on sake and self respect you need to tell him you just aint that inbeterested anymore, miss his calls, get busy, join clubs or something to occupy your time, let him know that you have moved on and dont wait around for any guy, then if he does really love u he will come back, but come on your worth more than being treated like a doormat you were not created just to be used and abused. i think maybe your viewing him the way youd like to see him rather than seeing his faults and seeing that how he treats you certainly does not make him a gentleman

So you imply that he lies when he tells me that he loves me? We was together for 4 years he was madly in love with me - and i know in myself that you dont just wake up one day and stop loving them life isnt that simple.

I see him the way he is i dont see him the way i 'want' to see him otherwise id still be talking to him now!

Sorry but you dont know the situation you dont know his feelings or if he loves me so you cant judge the fact that he doesnt love me when you dont know.

Suppose it was a mistake to post my personal life on a forum shall get this thread closed
thanks to those who gave me some fab advice and suppprt!
P.s florriedee will get that book thanks x

 

[lenna]

no of course i dont know, i was only giving my opinion and advice, im sure plenty of others have echoed the same, if he loved you enough then he would commit, so all im saying is stay firm dont let him have his cake and eat it too, simply thats my advice

 

[Bonkers]

haha i bought that book a few times! lol because friends always borrowed it and never got it back. haha i could tell you all the rules. no.1 be a creature unlike any other. lol
anyway it is a good book but also im not really into playing games and the book generally is one big game although it can work.

basic summery is dont be too available to him, dont meet him half way, he has to come to you, ermm... always look amazing, dont always return his calls etc.

lol good luck honey xxx

 

[Violet Star]

haha i bought that book a few times! lol because friends always borrowed it and never got it back. haha i could tell you all the rules. no.1 be a creature unlike any other. lol
anyway it is a good book but also im not really into playing games and the book generally is one big game although it can work.

basic summery is dont be too available to him, dont meet him half way, he has to come to you, ermm... always look amazing, dont always return his calls etc.

lol good luck honey xxx

Cheers babe!Ihavent been speaking to him for about 4 days now he hasnt tried to ring me yet he is on hol at the moment for the weekend so see what he does when he comes back! I have ignored him before but fell into the trap again

Last month i igored him for a week he did not give up with contact he constantly rang me tried to call my mum and speak to her then turnt up at my door so in the end i gave in :irked:But not this time i got v important things to focus on xxx

 

[Florriedee]

Sounds like a fun book! :green: However, i done a search for it on amazon, and there seem to be loads...what does yours look like?

thanks x:hug:

The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right: Amazon.co.uk: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: Books

I have no idea if this will work but its this one! Lx
How exciting! It did work! Lol

 

[Voodoo]

i think men should be banned from having relationships until they get to their early 40's...:lol:

although saying that, i had a fella last year who was 42 and was a total waste of space...was more interested in sitting at his kitchen table and drinking coffee!

his mum rang me up last week asking why me and my kids hadn't been round - she still had xmas presents to give to us...

"erm...i actually fired him off in november last year..." :lol:

was awful when she asked me to end my current relationship and take him back, and it was even worse when i said that nick is a good man and better than anyone i've ever met...foot in mouth moment.:o

jue x

 

[Meriden]

I dont know what you situation is financially-but could you get away and travel for a bit?? - give him the opportunity to see what life is like without you? Its a big world out there, you never know what's around the corner. If you are also in your twenties- you've still got a lot of frogs to kiss yet! Otherwise its true what they say- time is a great healer. You won't ever forget your partner- it just won't be as painful in the future to think about him.

Take care

Meridenxx

 

[Violet Star]

I dont know what you situation is financially-but could you get away and travel for a bit?? - give him the opportunity to see what life is like without you? Its a big world out there, you never know what's around the corner. If you are also in your twenties- you've still got a lot of frogs to kiss yet! Otherwise its true what they say- time is a great healer. You won't ever forget your partner- it just won't be as painful in the future to think about him.

Take care

Meridenxx

That is actually a great idea about going away and would LOVE to get away havent been away since 2003 but i hate flying and cant bring myself to get on a plane - this year i do want to get away somewhere in the uk. At the moment i cant afford it due to paying out thousands for courses for beauty and all the new equpitment i need but hopefully later in the year ill have some spare cash to go away xx

 

[gemini]

Hey there,
I just want to say to you I really feel for you at the moment. I have been in the same situation and it's really hard! It's easy for other people to say move on even though it is usually the right thing to do but only you can make that decision when the times right for you! I don't doubt that he loves you it just seems that you both want different things. All I advise you to do is stay being strong! your doing fab. Sounds like you've lots going on at the moment with your business and courses, just put all your energies into them. If it's meant to be he will come back to you. If you want to talk or anything just pm me. :hug:

 

[Bonkers]

just wondered how you were getting on with this ex? I myself very good with my advice but really rubbish on acting on it. My ex came back from iraq, managed not to see him for a few weeks then gave in and saw him made me see how much i really did love him still, although i just was very chummy and not lovey towards him, saw him again and stayed at his and then stayed with him the night before he went back to iraq and even dropped him at the airport, he is so bloody cheeky, he gave me loads of paperwork to do for him for his new bodyguard licences, which i did and sent back for him recorded delivery along with his tax return that i did and sent back to his accountant for him, anyway when i saw him we chatted about things and decided when he is back we will see each other, he has even added me on fb after a year of removing me. Anyway, there are loads of girls sending him messages on there and also have seen that he has reset the page back up i met him on 'faceparty' now I have no idea what is going on in his head and maybe i am more bloody stupid than i thought but i do love him and he knows that and he must think that he can do whatever and get away with it. arghhhh. lol. I have 5 weeks til he gets back from iraq again and this time for good i hope but i dont know how i am going to get through it, The last thing I want to do is have a go at him about this as I made out that Im easy going and that yes i believe they are friends of his, that i could handle its the fact he has set that page back up, part of me feels like doing the same but thats just pathetic.

anyway sorry to ramble x

 

[Violet Star]

just wondered how you were getting on with this ex? I myself very good with my advice but really rubbish on acting on it. My ex came back from iraq, managed not to see him for a few weeks then gave in and saw him made me see how much i really did love him still, although i just was very chummy and not lovey towards him, saw him again and stayed at his and then stayed with him the night before he went back to iraq and even dropped him at the airport, he is so bloody cheeky, he gave me loads of paperwork to do for him for his new bodyguard licences, which i did and sent back for him recorded delivery along with his tax return that i did and sent back to his accountant for him, anyway when i saw him we chatted about things and decided when he is back we will see each other, he has even added me on fb after a year of removing me. Anyway, there are loads of girls sending him messages on there and also have seen that he has reset the page back up i met him on 'faceparty' now I have no idea what is going on in his head and maybe i am more bloody stupid than i thought but i do love him and he knows that and he must think that he can do whatever and get away with it. arghhhh. lol. I have 5 weeks til he gets back from iraq again and this time for good i hope but i dont know how i am going to get through it, The last thing I want to do is have a go at him about this as I made out that Im easy going and that yes i believe they are friends of his, that i could handle its the fact he has set that page back up, part of me feels like doing the same but thats just pathetic.

anyway sorry to ramble x

Oohh hun sounds likea very hard situation your in and i toatally understand how your feeling :hug:

Things with my ex are suprisinly going well, A few weeks back i started seeing someone else my ex found out and promised things would be good with us etc

And ive been seeing my ex since and he is being great and becoming closer and closer to me lets just hope it lasts aye

xx