How to deal with schools????

[Coppertop]

The options they have given us are:
she returns to school and just takes it all
I drive her to school,she stays in isolation all day then i drive her home {30 mins away}
I sign her out of school and she leaves with nothing {GCSE's}
Get medical proof that she is ill and maybe the board may send her work home and she goes back for her last exam next year

So i think we are going to go far the medical proof as the dr knows that she has a bad time with school and the medication she is on.Then the board have to decided if its worth it or not to let her have work at home.
When she is at school she dosnt get the help she needs as they are too busy trying so sort the class out anyway.

So god knows wots going to happen she is at the dr's tomorow to let him know the board are going to be contacting him for evidence.
Good luck to everyone else with schooling matters as mine have been a nightmare with my daughter,i hope i dont have the same with son aswell.xxx

My heart really goes out to you hun. At the end of the day you would think that they would do everything possible to help you out and give your daughter the best education no matter what.
If you can get a Dr behind you and maybe see if there is anyone from social services to help you out too, there are some good social workers out there and all you need is to find one person who will help you fight against the school and governers and you will be surprised how fast things happen.
I see the good side to homw schooling when i read stuff like this!
I feel much more positive today even though i'm going to have the twins off school next week ill!!!!

 

[rouge]

My friend's daughter was being very badly bullied at school - name calling, physical abuse etc - and all the teachers said was that as it was during the lunch break they weren't responsible for stopping it. The poor kid used to spend her entire lunchbreak sitting up a tree - yes, really - so they couldn't get to her. Her mum eventually took her out of school and she's now teaching her at home. It's really appalling what kids have to go through at school, it makes you feel like giving the teachers a good slapping and then saying 'now how did you like that? Shall I come back and do it again tomorrow?'

And people wonder why I don't want kids.....

 

[Coppertop]

Just spoke to the headmaster. He's calling a meeting 9.30am Wednesday.
Can't wait to hear the drizzle they are gonna try and give me and Ray.
LET THE BATTLE BEGIN........

 

[sj1973]

well he knows there is a problem or he would not have let a meeting go ahead.....well done you ...let us know wed how it all goes and get it all of your chest hun xxxxGOOD LUCK although you wont need it as you are not a over proctive parent....just a concerned one xx

 

[Coppertop]

Thanks hun. Not looking forward to it like but never mind.
I just got hrought the post today Jeds Autumn term report and you won't be surprised to know that he only recieved an assessment grade of 1 in French.
Seems to be a vicious circle that he is in with his French lesson. He's finding it hard, teacher hasn't picked up on this, Jed doesn't do homework, teacher must assume he's lazy, Jed puts no effort in............ i could go on forever.
Guess i'll bring that up on wednesday too.
This is turning into a never ending story!!!

 

[Exquisite Touch]

HI mandy i totally understand where you are coming from

I have a lad who is being bullied at the moment because he has an accent that is not a northern one, he has a brummie accent
in the last two weeks he has had two bags ripped with stanley knives, his pe kit stolen,, both tyres slashed on his bike and now a £20 badminton racket snapped in two all by the same kid

the school then sent me a fine of £50 for him being late, I have refused to pay it and im sending the school a bill of my own. I cant afford to keep him in bags and equipement at this rate.

Give that head teacher what for darling and make sure they listen
thinking of you
Debbie x

 

[Coppertop]

HI mandy i totally understand where you are coming from

I have a lad who is being bullied at the moment because he has an accent that is not a northern one, he has a brummie accent
in the last two weeks he has had two bags ripped with stanley knives, his pe kit stolen,, both tyres slashed on his bike and now a £20 badminton racket snapped in two all by the same kid

the school then sent me a fine of £50 for him being late, I have refused to pay it and im sending the school a bill of my own. I cant afford to keep him in bags and equipement at this rate.

Give that head teacher what for darling and make sure they listen
thinking of you
Debbie x

Oh hun that is so out of order. You know there is no control in some of our schools at all.
I jave noticed that there is no consistancy with the rules, different rules for different kids and so on.
The primary school that my twins go to have just started up a star system and i bet it works a treat. The school is already a good school and the teachers and headmaster are fab.
Kids are so polite and always in the correct uniform. The twins are 4 and mix with all ages in the playground. I have to say it is the best primary i have seen in a long time.
I won't be sending the twins to the comp Jed is at if things continue at this rate.
I hope you get everything sorted with your boy hun and thanks for the thoughts. I will give them what for cos i have no intention of leaving that school with them thinking i'm a pushover or that Jed doesn't deserve the best education they can give him cos at the end of the day that is what it boils down to. Jed getting a good education so that he can get somewhere in life!

 

[pinkmummy]

Hugs to you and Jed, it's not easy. I moved my eldest to a different school and we moved house to follow a few years back.
The phrase to use in the meeting is 'Duty of care!'
The school has a duty of care to your son, to ensure that he can learn in a safe environment. It worked at my sons last school, they soon jumped to my beat and the bullying stopped but we moved him to a better school anyway.
Good luck.:hug:

 

[sj1973]

HI mandy i totally understand where you are coming from

I have a lad who is being bullied at the moment because he has an accent that is not a northern one, he has a brummie accent
in the last two weeks he has had two bags ripped with stanley knives, his pe kit stolen,, both tyres slashed on his bike and now a £20 badminton racket snapped in two all by the same kid

the school then sent me a fine of £50 for him being late, I have refused to pay it and im sending the school a bill of my own. I cant afford to keep him in bags and equipement at this rate.

Give that head teacher what for darling and make sure they listen
thinking of you
Debbie x

omg...thats terriable hun...a disgrace to the british schools around here...if i were you and mandy i would $%****$+"£$%%^&*()(*&%$$ the head and the school for what they have done to your kids...this sort of thing should NOT happen in schools...so good luck both of you and hope you get all things sorted pronto.xxx

 

[Coppertop]

Hugs to you and Jed, it's not easy. I moved my eldest to a different school and we moved house to follow a few years back.
The phrase to use in the meeting is 'Duty of care!'
The school has a duty of care to your son, to ensure that he can learn in a safe environment. It worked at my sons last school, they soon jumped to my beat and the bullying stopped but we moved him to a better school anyway.
Good luck.:hug:

Thanks for that piece of advice hun, will be sure to use it. x x

 

[pinkmummy]

Take a look at the Governments website. On this page you can download the schools bullying charter, take a copy of it to your meeting. Hope this helps hun.
DfES: Don't Suffer in Silence

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying/pack/02.pdf

 

[Coppertop]

Right we've just got home from the meeting at the school and i feel much better now.
So what is happening is that Jed will be working with a smaller group during break and lunch so that he can develope his social skills. This was what was supposed to happen anyway but this time i had the head and the teacher who will be doing this with him present in the meeting. I'M HAPPY.

Stolen bag problem. The head had personally questioned Jed and checked the cameras. Seems it wasn't stolen but misplaced by Jed! He now will be doing the detention he was given for not going to class equiped. NOT HAPPY.

Issue of poor communication was delt with and the meeting has proven that when there isn't good comunication between the school and parents things can be left to fester and become a major issue, this is not going to insure a good education for the kids and the school need to improve this. I'M HAPPY.

I'm really dissapointed with Jed and feel like i can't trust him to give me the correct info about issues at school. Will be having words with him.

On the whole the meeting was a great sucsess and we all feel like we have done the best thing by sitting down together. If i hadn't of gone to the head we would of never of got to the bottom of all of this so i guess my rule of 'one chance then i take it futher' works.

Thanks to all of you for your support and for caring enough to reply to my thread. Appreciate it and it has really helped me stay calm and get through this. Things always seem worse at this time of year.
I hope all of you that are having problems with schools get it sorted quickly and your children get the help they need :hug::hug::hug:

 

[sj1973]

why are you dissopinted with jed??...is it because of the bag issue????...put yourself in his shoes hun...he is getting picked on and what might have happened is that he misplaced his bag but forgot cos he is sooooo worried about these bullys......as for the dention...if it was me,i would not have let my son do it...why? because he has been bullied,and why should he have dention for something that was not his fault...hope that makes sense!!!!......but...you have to do what YOU think is right...glad you feel better hun xx

 

[Coppertop]

why are you dissopinted with jed??...is it because of the bag issue????...put yourself in his shoes hun...he is getting picked on and what might have happened is that he misplaced his bag but forgot cos he is sooooo worried about these bullys......as for the dention...if it was me,i would not have let my son do it...why? because he has been bullied,and why should he have dention for something that was not his fault...hope that makes sense!!!!......but...you have to do what YOU think is right...glad you feel better hun xx

Well the bag thing is down to Jed and no one else. At the end of the day i won't stand for lies, no matter what the reason, so i fell Jed should take his punishment and do the detention.
All kids should be brought up knowing right from wrong and i bet that Jed knows what he did was wrong.
At the end of the day Jed lied to ME and i was so upset about the fact that someone had took his bag that i had made a big issue about it with the school. I felt like Jed had let me down on that one.

The boy who bullied and slapped Jed is being punished in an appropriate manner and taking his punishment, which i am pleased about.

 

[gillian w]

If like my school you have a parents association i find this helps enormously with understanding where a school is coming from and keeping your finger on the pulse.
Look into it, you may think you dont have the time but it depends how active they are. Most meetings will probably only be an hour or so a month which you can choose to go to or not and then help out when you can at functions.
At our meetings there is always a representative from the school govenors,a head teacher and another teacher and although its never correct to discuss individual childrens needs at meetings it gives you a chance to hear what the schools policies are on a range of subjects and also have your say.
I think many parents really miss out on the opportunites and dont realise the power some ptas have in changing certain things within a school and understanding what goes on from inside, it certainly gives you a whole new view on how hard it is to run a shool nowadays.

 

[pinkmummy]

Glad you feel it went well today and things are now set in motion. Sounds like the head is on top of the situation.:hug:
As for Jed, don't be too hard on him, but at the end of the day all kids have to learn about taking responsibility for their own things.
Sometimes it can be a harsh lesson for them. My daughter (13 and dyslexic so organising herself can be a problem) recently left her history coursework down by the computer. It's now missing and although I feel sorry for her, it's taught her that if you don't file it away somewhere safe, it can go astray. She'll have to start again.:irked:

 

[Coppertop]

Glad you feel it went well today and things are now set in motion. Sounds like the head is on top of the situation.:hug:
As for Jed, don't be too hard on him, but at the end of the day all kids have to learn about taking responsibility for their own things.
Sometimes it can be a harsh lesson for them. My daughter (13 and dyslexic so organising herself can be a problem) recently left her history coursework down by the computer. It's now missing and although I feel sorry for her, it's taught her that if you don't file it away somewhere safe, it can go astray. She'll have to start again.:irked:

I totally hear what you're saying hun, your daughter made a mistake and as a result lost her work.
Jed came home and lied to me! That hurts.

I don't even know how to deal with this with him and i won't say anything to him until i do.
I bring my kids up better than that and he knows it's wrong to lie. Like i said to the head, i have the twins to think of too because Jeds behaviour infulences them.

 

[fificharlie]

I totally hear what you're saying hun, your daughter made a mistake and as a result lost her work.
Jed came home and lied to me! That hurts.

I don't even know how to deal with this with him and i won't say anything to him until i do.
I bring my kids up better than that and he knows it's wrong to lie. Like i said to the head, i have the twins to think of too because Jeds behaviour infulences them.

Its a shame the little sod that hit Jed obviously hasn't got a caring mum like you hun :hug:

You will do what you feel is right, and personally I agree with you allowing him to take the punishment regarding the bag, as it will make him realise in future that lying gets you nowhere.

Really glad you have sorted it :green: merry christmas! x

 

[Coppertop]

Its a shame the little sod that hit Jed obviously hasn't got a caring mum like you hun :hug:

You will do what you feel is right, and personally I agree with you allowing him to take the punishment regarding the bag, as it will make him realise in future that lying gets you nowhere.

Really glad you have sorted it :green: merry christmas! x

Thanks hun.
I've got to the point now where i don't know who to believe cos now Jed is saying that the teachers haven't even spoke to him about things the have tole me they have spoke about.
To be honest i can't see 2 teachers and the head sitting in a room and telling me lies but i feel the only way around this is to get them in a room with Jed and get the truth out.
I feel even worse now :cry:
Never mind, feel like going to the pub!

 

[minky]

I think alot of schools fail us these days,iv treid to support my daughter and also go onlong with the school at the same time but it has not got us anyway.My daughter has just turned 16 so iv taken her out because its making her ill,the education officer came yesterday and agve me 3 options one of which i face court and maybe jail!! OMG none of this is my fault but i could get punished,stroll on next summer when she can walk away from school altogether.Good luck with your probs keep us updated xx

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