Need help

[pippy]

hello everyone, I'm new here but i've liked what I read so far so I'm hoping you can help me. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with bad attitude and treatments from other students in my L2 hairdressing course putting in mind that this is a situation that has been going on for two years now and has drained whatever passion I had for the industry to a mere droplets and that the age gap between me and them is huge I am 33yrs old they range from 17-24 yrs of age. one of me and about 16 of them.

but I started late in life due to a career controlling father and they started early due to thinking it is the easiest course they can do to keep their ema's going. what can I do I want to go on to do my L3 but if it will be the same group of people I might have to think of pushing my advancements back a year or two to get away from it and at my age I really can't afford that and the college that offers the course is the closest to me as I don't drive yet.

I should add that being of a minority group hasn't helped me fit it in at all since from the first day I was the butt of all examples by the tutor of how afro hair can be so difficult to handle without asking about how I deal with it or if it is true. but I digress sorry, any thank you for anyone who can offer me advice as even the library isn't a sanctuary for me

 

[J.Victoria]

That's a real shame, I know the feeling when it seems the girls just turn up to get their ema money and you yourself have had to pay for the course and just want to crack on with it. When I was at college we had a one to one meeting with our tutor every month to discuss any issues we had. Do you not have the same sort of thing with your tutor? Would there not be department head that you could discuss your problem with? I obviously don't know how bad it is for you, but I would say regards to level 3, don't let anyone put you off!! Be focused on your end goal and don't let them deter you from it. Bring up whatever problems that you are having because if you don't say anything nothing can be sorted out and who knows they may not even be considering doing their level 3. hth

 

[dee]

oh hun , beleive me not a tenth of em will do the level 3 !!! its bloomin hard going i only did half of mine then quit , i was 18 lol (biggest mistake of my career !!!)
stuff em if you have hacked it for 2 yrs i am sure you can do another yr , plus you will find level 3 is a different kettle of fish , i had peeps in my group that i hadnt even been to college with , lol
as for your tutor !! get on to the head of hairdresisng dept and tell em you feel its out of order , they should have more respect for you than this !!!
dont give up hun :hug: they will be dying to play with your hair when you do level 3 !!! hehehe xxx

 

[Beauty Within]

Could you not do your level 3 with a different group? Are you at college full time or part time?
When I trained in hairdressing I did an adults evening course 2 nights a week and there was no teenage kids straight from school who didn't care about the course we all wanted to learn.
We all had respect for each other, helped one another out. It was so much better as we learnt more because there was no easily distracted kids!


Sent from my iPhone using SalonGeek

 

[Sammi74]

ah i do feel for you, i have just trained and i am 36! i opted for the evening course 2 nights a week and did a salon placement one morning a week, as have no childcare much in the day. I couldnt have trained with 16 year olds they would have drove me nuts. Is there any chance you could switch to an evening course as a lady in our class did just that, she couldnt cope with the bad slack attitudes of some of the younger ones.

Dont know what else to say but stick with it, I jacked hairdressing in at 22 and wish i hadnt as i didnt complete my nvq therefore i had to start all over again years later when i had the chance!

all the best xxx

 

[pippy]

hey guys thank you so much for your support. as far as the tutors go yes we do have a one to one talk every month but hmm... how can i put this?... have you ever felt like the three year old in nursery who keeps telling the teacher the kid is bitting them but all the teacher can do is send them to the naughty corner because it wld be considered an infringement on their human rights if they were excluded all together?.
I did try the complaints to head of department route last year and it got to the stage where if i wanted to I coud have got the lot of them excluded from the course at the last four weeks. but I ran the senerio of how the hearing was going to be and here is what would have happen: -

1. the big pokemon eyes would have come through with the words me? I never?...
2. que tears big massive ones that melt your heart.
3. As a mother I would never want anyone to be able to distroy my girls' careers specially not on a she said she said battle so I thought about their furtures and how even though they might not be interested in the trade its a skill that will carry them in hard times.

so that's why I decided not to pursue it further and to cut myself from any interaction with any of them. but honest to god the loneliness is killing me inside and to have to go through it from 9a.m to 4p.m for three days a week is enough to drive you to tears.

but hey like you said jst push through to L3 and then well frankly my day would be made if someday one of them had to sit on my chair cause they don't have the skill to do their own hair hehehe.....:twisted::twisted: I wldn't mess it up of course but it would be worth it;-)

 

[dee]

lol when they need a model with afro - carribean hair they will wanna be your best mate i can tell ya !! :lol: then you can tell em to shove their relaxer where the sun dont shine !!
i dont understand some people at all , i am glad i was brought up not to care what colour , age , beleifs were !! i had some ace mates at college who were a bloody godsend when it came to doing afro hair coz it is hard and the products scared the pants off me , haha
i know you must feel terribly lonely and i so wish i knew what else to say but my reaction prob wouldnt be wise to post on here , lol ... but i know what would have happened to us at college if we had treat older class mates like that and it wasnt pleasent !! :lol:

 

[Tess Warwick]

Okay ... first of all 'minority group' only counts if you let it count - I'm of the opinion that it doesn't exist unless you let it. So, for the moment let's count that out ...

Then you have some squitty kids implying that you ought not be doing your course ... am I right?
Now this is where my blood starts to boil. (No exclamation marks because I'm trying to be calm and rational here ...).


Now, EXCLAMATION MARKS ... HOW ****ING DARE THEY????????????????

These are kids and they're bullies.
How do you feel about fronting up to them? I'm afraid that I wouldn't hesitate.

First of all your tutors ought to be backing you up. You are committing yourself to learning something worthwhile - like you say, these kids are simply justifying their EMA. I think you need to be speaking to your tutors and demanding support from them. You have the right to that. You are applying yourself. Why shouldn't you get their support. I'm surprised thay they haven'y yet got wind of it ...

Secondly - and I know that this will be a biggie, and difficult to do ... (but I'm a bolshie cow and I wouldn't hesitate to act ...) ...
Can you not front up to them? You are twice their age and it's about time that someone put them in the place that they deserve to be. You owe them nothing. You want to get on with learning your craft and they are just little squits who are coasting ... and trying to push you out.
If I were you, I'd wait until they were crowded together and launch an attack on them then.. They are a crowd of little girls and you are a big grown up woman. How DARE they treat you like this? Who the hell do they think they are?

Soft, soft voice ...
Look the ringleader in the eye. Lean towards her - she'll HATE that ...

'Little girls, listen to me ... You can say all the things that you want to about me ... Even if you say them to me they won't mean anything... Because you are little girls ... and you are unimportant ... and whatever you say won't change what *I*want or what I'm going to do...
And when you grow up ... and get minds of your own ... and you want a job ... and you apply to me in my salon begging for a job (... if you last that long) I shall tell you to sling your hook. Now, go away and let me get on with learning my craft'.

You don't have to be horrible - or shout - or be bad mannered ...
In fact, the calmer, quieter and more rational you are, the more it will REALLY p**s her off. She will look stupid in front of her friends. Result

If you want to talk, I'll send you my number. Just ask
Try it ... and good luck!
x

 

[Tess Warwick]

PS ...
I'm so angry I wish I could do it for you ...

 

[smooth]

Maybe the other students are not welcoming because of the age difference rather than the ethnicity of this geek, which is a shame regardless. Would you want to be in with such a narrow minded group of individuals anyway?

Maybe the tutor does actually believe that your hair type is difficult but if you have a difference of opinion then stand up and say so. You have lived with it for 33 years so you can give your side and if it contradicts their opoinion then so what? Say it and be proud.

Just be courteous to everyone, continue to level 3 if that is what you want and don't let the buggers grind you down.

 

[pippy]

ouhh tess you made me laugh so much you sound like someone with a big heart to match your (bolshie cow personality). well you see that is the problem i approached them on their level and wrote on my facebook profile that they are nothing but vermin and i wouldn't care what the hell they did. problem is that their attacks are all subtle like creating an atmosphere or pretending to talk to their friends and all those childish approaches so no tutor has actually witnessed anything and the one who did is too much of a coward i think to speak up. anyway so they went to the tutor and showed her my fb profile and I had some other profiles in their written in my mother tongue (arabic) of which of course they did not understand so instead of asking me what it said they said to the tutor that ouhh look she is launching an attack against us in her own language and we are afraid that she will do something to us blah blah blah... now at this point I would blame the tutors for not confronting me with the situation which by the way what I wrote in arabic had nothing to do with them in anyway it was me replying back top my family and I don't think i should be afraid to use what ever language I can just because of political circumstances. and I agree with you ethnicity has nothing to do with it, as i never used mine as a reason of not going forward. anyway so as a result of all that and the tutors not acting on it the situation escalated to the point of no return i think. after the summer holidays i thought all would be forgotten and return to normal but apparently they think they could hold a grudge against me as i am the bad person while i have no reason to be upset. so they don't talk to me unless like they need a brush or a pair of scissors or to ask about a technique they don't seem to grasp. but other than that if i sit somewhere they will move away and if they don't they will do something like "what was that you were going to tell me earlier or can't you speak now ouhh... sorry".
it's disgraceful i will give you that and i don't believe people should behave like that no matter their age but what can you do you can't prove it they don't do it on visible evidence like i did it, so what can you give the tutors as proof.

we've been divided into two groups the ema qualifiers who have been put on a different learning plan and the older ones problem is the ring leader is an older one a 24yr old who is the type of person who feeds on people feeling sorry for her because she is always the victim and her life is always harder than yours no matter what you might be going through. example ouhh your husband is getting on your wick well at least you have a husband and not an abusive boyfriend who even though she seperated from him four years ago (before the course) her life is never the same and she can't trust no one. your kids are getting you down well you should be thankful that they are healthy and that you can have more cause my daughter has a strawberry mark which she has to have laser surgery for every three months and I can't have any more because of a genetic condition and i am still morning my other daughter who was a still born six years ago.
and if you have some good news hers always has to be better you are proud of your kids for enjoying school well you should see her daughter who could read full words at the young age of 4.

I am not being nasty at her misfortune I feel sorry for her i really do but when she belittles you like that it just makes me feel like saying " Look we all have misfortunes but we don't act like the whole ...ing world owes us a favor!!!!, we get over it and we trudge on!!!, so get off your sorry ass and get over it" but then I will have established myself as an evil bitch. anyway I am blabbing on now and might be boring you sorry about that and thank you again so much for all your support:-x

 

[J.Victoria]

My advice would be never to write anything especially on facebook that you wouldn't want repeated. By calling them vermin etc you would have shown them that you too will play their game. You would just be giving them more ammunition to use against you and they will just think of more ways to hurt you. I would ignore them completely and not fuel the fire. Yes they sound like quite nasty people but you neeed to rise above it and show that you are not bothered or interested in what they have to say. Don't stoop to their level.

 

[bronzebrunette]

im doing level 3 just now and what a difference from level 2! i dont know if its the same all over but at our college you actually have to be offered a place, you can't just appy, and having completed level 2 does not mean you get a place on level 3 - this has filtered out all the guff basically! and everyone in my class are very focused on hairdressing careers and have alot more passion and interest than anyone from my class last year i absolutely love it!

if your college lecturers where in anyway passionate about hair and teaching hairdressing they will probably find these young girls annoying too - i know a lecturer we have taught at a private institute before which she said was completely different! because there, theyve paid their own money to learn, therefore theyre more dedicated - maybe this is something you could look into???