This *%$@# AGAIN!!! This is it!!!

[FrancescaP]

The problem with these yo-yo men (the ones who like to keep their exes around) is that they rarely stop unless something drastic happens...believe me I know. You are the one that needs to be strong and put him out of your mind, you will have a distraction when your son arrives and this will help, although there will be times when you feel all alone, don't be fooled into thinking that it is him you are missing, most of us feel a little alone with a new baby whether you have a devoted partner or not. Surround yourself with good people, ask them not to mention him and lavish all the love you have on your new baby... the hurt will go away, he'll realise that he was so useless that you didn't need him, and the ex will have to put up with all his stupid behaviour, whatever happens...YOU WIN! :hug:

Fran
xxx

 

[tilly]

Hubby here!!

because he's one of those stupid, belligerant, wanna fight the whole world for looking at him kind of drunk.

Sounds Like he needs AA & you need to give him the ass

Should I let him see his son when he's born or should I make him stay his distance??

As a father of two beautiful girls with court appointed access but denied by my ex i strongly disagree with this move.
As much as my ex hates me & I her i have never stopped loving my children & I think & my friends tell me that she will pay for this later on as it is spiritually wrong to deny what God gave to you both.
Their are ways around seeing each other but imagine how you would feel & the confusing thoughts as you grew older.
Believe me i was unable to see my natural father for 18 years because of a messy separation & the problems i had not to mention the drinking & drugging
praise the lord I am now three & half years clean & sober & believe me 80% was caused by this stuff with my kids & my father.
Dont punish your child please

Christian

 

[louge]

Yolanda, my heart goes out to you. This is a horrible situation for anyone to be in but even worse when your pregnant, all those hormones flying around doesnt help. The girls here have already given you fantastic advice. All I will say is keep your chin up and just think of yourself and that baby. Once your holding that little bundle of joy in your arms its amazing how you will change and do anything in the world it takes to keep that baby happy and healthy. I had a similar relationship with my ex, but every time I look at my daughter I wonder where I would be without her. Many nights Id sit and cry with her in my arms, but I took the advice 'what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger'. He gave me hell for over 2 years but I stayed strong and now Kara is four, me and her dad are friends, hes still unreliable but what makes me smile now is when he tells me what a mistake he made and how much it hurts him as he threw away the best thing that happened to him!
Look forward to the birth of your baby, focus on the positive. Good luck :Love::hug:

 

[debs81]

Just wanted to say i'm sorry things aren't working out for you chick. Like the others have said, just try to concentrate on your baby now and worry about him later , if at all. You sound like a very strong person and i think you're amazing for putting up with what you have so far.

Good luck with the birth aswell hon.:hug:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[HappyHands]

Sorry to hear things are soooo bad, my heart goes out to you honey:hug::hug:

 

[Northern Nails]

hi Yolanda, i have never spoken to you before, but you know there are always going to be people on here who will listen to you whilst you get things off your chest.....no matter how long your posts are!

It is so true what everyone else has been saying, and hopefully these will give you a little inspiration.

Sending you big hugs, :hug:

 

[lotus blossom]

hey yolanda, cant give you any more love and advice that anyone else can give you so i just wanted you to know that im thinking of you and sending big hugs to you:hug: :hug: you know we are all here for you

nikki

 

[suey]

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

 

[bimbogeri]

Oh Yolanda, my heart really goes out for you. I can't begin to imagine how you feel, all I can say is, go and stay with your mum, or someone else who will love you and make you feel safe at this time when you need it most. Take the time to ignore everything that has gone on lately and focus on yourself, your son and the new baby, don't put yourself through the stress of moving right now, just let the time and the love of your family help bandage those wounds a little before you make any big steps.
Then, when you feel ready you can decide what you want to do - if moving is it, then so be it. Your son's father can find you if he wants to, if he doesn't then when your son grows it up it will be that his dad didn't bother, not that you stopped him.
Frankly I know where I'd like him and his baby momma to end up!
Many hugs to you hun :hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

My heart goes out to you sweetheart.

In answer to your question as to whether you should let him see the baby? Don't ever use the kids as weapons. Mind you, he has to be committed and be reliable.

I know you're hurting right now and this couldn't have at a worse time what with you just about to give birth. However, I raised my daughter as a single mum with no contact or financial support from her father (his choice). That was the easy bit................we've had a ball. The hard bit would have been having an ar**hole and a loser around us having some impact on my daughter's upbringing.

I know you want him to love you but you know what? It's not that he doesn't love you, it's that he loves himself more than anybody or anything else. Do you really want a man that's so shallow and heartless to do this to you and to say all those wicked things?

Yeah, yeah, you know he'll be back in a little while, sitting in your house, eating your food, holding the baby and telling you what an idiot he's been; all whilst the other woman is screaming at you down the phone. He'll convince you that it was all because he was confused , blah, blah, blah. Don't be taken in by him. Anyway, what's he got that you all want so much? Anyone would think he had diamonds for balls.

I think you really need to decide what kind of future you want for you and your kids. What example is all this gonna set for them? Now I'm not gonna tell you to wipe him outta your life and forget about him because you love him and you can't. You can't control your emotions.................but you can control your actions.

So, get yourself in a routine once the baby's here. Hold you head high and get your act back together. If you fancy jumping into bed with him then do so, but all the while remembering what he's done to you and your baby. If he stays over night, make up an excuse so that he has to leave in the morning. No waiting on him and letting him doss around watching tv all day. Use him the way he's used you.

Whilst you're doing this, focus on being a good mum which you are already are either work on being happy just living alone with your kids or make an effort to meet a man that deserves you. A man that treats you like the princess that you are.

Now come 'ere and give me a hug......................

 

[kateyork1]

Just a quickie to say we'll all be thinking of you. Men can be complete ****holes at times. I hope you do whats right for you and your kids - there will be someone out there who deserves such a lovely person like you who will make you as happy as you deserve. Good luck with everything babes. xxxxxxx :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Ms.Matrix]

I'm hanging in there guys...thank you so much for your words of support and love...I wish I could give you all a great big hug. I still have my moments where I think back on everything and I'm near tears because I can hardly believe that he did this to me. I know that everything happens for a reason though, and also that she started this mess and his stupid behind got sucked into it...but oh well!! I'm out of it, and I plan to stay out of it.

As for letting him see his son, my son who is 15 had a nice long talk with me and told me that I shouldn't withhold his son from him...see my sons father was not in his life for 14 years (his choice, not mine) and he told me the resentment that he had built up towards him. So I know I will have to do the right thing...that is if he wants to be a part of the baby's life, but as for me being anything more than cordial towards him is a long shot...even though to be quite frank I will miss him in the bed :lick: ahhhhh, the things he could do...

anyway...

It still hurts like hell, and I think I am going to move, but not with my mom - GOD NO!!! I love her to pieces, but that's a story for another time. I want to hold the cards, I want to take the baby to his sisters house and have him see him there or to my mom's house and have him come there to see him, but I don't want him to have access to me when HE feels like it...I can't deal with that, I don't want to accidentally run into him when he's in this building visiting with his friends, in order for me to heal I have to distance myself from the situation or else I just might slip again...and that's not being stupid, that's being realistic, I know the soft spot that I have for this man and how much I truly loved him...out of sight out of mind.

I love you all so much, I can't wait til I can come and meet every single one of you face to face you guys have been my anchor in many a storm. I know this site was set up for "nail talk" but I thank God for the "chit chat" forum, I know I always have a friend geeking somewhere out there ready to comfort me when the time comes...and likewise you all know I am here when you need a friend. From the bottom of my heart Thank you, thank you, thank you , thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!:Love: :Love: :Love: :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

Oh Yolanda !!! Just think.........21 days till your new little boy is here. See......... out of bad always comes good.

I think you should give him Geek as a middle name. Well, maybe not.

Hang in there doll............the only way is up now. xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Fingertips ND]

Yolanda I hope everything works out for you!

You have a great son by the sounds of it and I am sure he will help you smile when your feeling down.

Find a fab guy that loves every bit of you and your children!

Can't wait to see the pictures of your new baby when he finally comes!

Good luck hun x x x x x x x

 

[colorflair]

Hi Hon,

You have got a great spirit - you go girl Your son sounds like a real credit to you - you must be very proud of him.

Take care honey big :hug: s to you xxxxxxx

 

[kittenclaws]

yolanda, you are an amazing strong and beautiful person inside and out, you have a whole future infront of you, and it will be great, we are all here for you 101%,
:hug:

 

[Ms.Matrix]

Well, upon futher investigation he told me that the only reason he said what he said because he was hurt and angry that I put him out....

I really hope he doesn't think this excuses anything, because it doesn't, it actually made me more disgusted with him. Why is it some people think they can say whatever the heck they want to break your heart into 10 million pieces and say "oops sorry" and think it all suppossed to be better??? I DON'T THINK SO!!! He's been calling asking have I been having contractions and can he come to the hospital when I go.....GRRRRRRRRRR!!

OHHHHHHHHH, I forgot to tell you all what else I found out...
HE AND HIS NEW LADY GOT INTO IT, AND SHE PUT HIM OUT!!!!!

Just goes to show that what goes around comes around...My momma always told me to let the Lord fight my battles!

PAYBACK IS A....

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Be strong hun, don't let this PITA weedle his way back in, you deserve so much more, he'll only keep breaking your heart. Can you pm me your addie so I can send you a card for when the bubba is here! Mahoosive hugs - well they'll need to be big since you're nearly due!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Glorsclaws]

OOh I wanna send well wishes to you & yours when the time comes too hun!
You'll be mass-mailing your addy to us all... and your postie will think he has a superstar on his hands with all the 'fan mail' you'll get, rofl!
Glad to hear you still not 'slipped' cos it sounds like he's looking for a place to lay his head again.
Keep stong Yolanda :hug:

 

[glittergirl]

Sending you lots of hugs and cuddles :hug:


You have a beautiful wonderful little baby boy coming into your life in 19 Days look forward to that and get this loser out of your life for good!

You are such a fantastic person and theres someone out there who is just as great and when your least expecting it he's going to come along and sweep you off your feet!

Lots of love xxxxxxxxxx

HE AND HIS NEW LADY GOT INTO IT, AND SHE PUT HIM OUT!!!!!"

Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats sweet sweet justice!!!!