What's the weirdest thing you heard from the other side of the table?

[*tilly_mint*]

Damnit, when I get round to finally writing the script for my sit com (I have delusions), this is so going in as a sketch. I'll give you a share of my millions.

I could so picture all of that happening. Brilliant!

Not so much what someone has said but something funny happened today! Went to do a new set of nails on a young lady, brand new client. She lives at house number 79, hadnt been on this road and all way there was chanting 79, 79, 79 which somehow when I found road had turned into number 74 so got all kit out of car and knocked on the wrong door, thankfully noone answered! Went back to car, put all kit back in whilst ringing client on my mobile. Whilst talking to her an older man came out of house few doors up and said "we're at this house,she's waiting inside" so I put mobile down said "see you in a second" and followed this man into the house. Looked at the house number and was 84 and made my excuses that I couldnt understand how I'd written number 79 down in my diary?

Was still trying to work it out when he said she's upstairs and he carried my case upstairs for me at which point a middle aged woman greeted me on the landing and said she's in here (did think was strange doing nails in a bedroom but assumed the young woman wanted it doing in peace n quiet away from her parents) Anyway went into bedroom and was an old lady sleeping in bed (looked ghastly)and other lady explained she'd been up all night with her and had been waiting for me all morning, at which point I realised something amiss!! Said to her you obviously dont want your nails done and she said no I thought you were the doctor. God Im blushing whilst Im writing this, I feel so stupid. Then had to carry all my stuff down the stairs & explain to the older man that I should have been at number 79 afterall and he explained he saw my white tunic and bag (bright pink case!) and assumed I was the doctor to look at his mother. By this time I was sweating with embarrassment but luckily on way out the NHS van was just pulling up outside. I then had to put kit back into car and find number 79 (round the corner as was a Crescent) and tell her why I had taken so long to find her!! She thought it was histerically funny thankfully and loved the nails by the way, hopefully she'll ask me back for her infills and my blondeness not put her off (I'm brunette really) OMG what a weird day????

 

[Mbzh]

What a funny thread!!! This totally changed my mood

 

[gjg1]

Hey, loving the stories they are great, fantastic post!
Ive had a few mortifing moments but one was I had a client who had been married a year and in that time had been trying for a baby. Her and her husband had started getting very obsessed and in the end had tests etc then had ivf. Anyway before the ivf stage she said to me "we had sex this morning in the missionary position and after he had come inside me, he pulled out of me, flung my legs in the air and told me to stay there for a bit to try and get the swimmers a bit further up!" i was slightly embarrassed and replied with " o did u stay there?!!" i really didnt know what else to say! Wtf did i say that for? And why was she telling me all that detail?! Well its one i will never forget anyway. They do have a baby son now but i dont think he was concieved by "getting the swimmers further up!"

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App

 

[Unique Nails09]

Hilarious post, we really do have to deal with some bizarre clients!

Mine can't top any of the previous ones in hilarious-ness but:

I remember a girl coming to me for L&P probably a year after I'd began doing nails so was a little bit unsure still how to deal with clients - anyway it was summer and she kicked off her flip flop and started messing with her foot while I was doing the nails on one of her hands, I was a little bit repulsed at this but said nothing. The next moment she said 'yuck look at this blister its killing me' I braved a glance downwards and saw she'd managed to blister a huge area near to her heel which had burst and formed into a huge loose flap of skin, she then got some scissors out of her bag and snipped the piece of skin off which was all thick and yellowy and about the size of a 50p piece!

The horrible thing is, a few days later I pulled out my desk to give it a good clean underneath and found the offending flap of skin under it - it had gone all hard and crispy - yuk yuk yuk!!

 

[Mbzh]

Hilarious post, we really do have to deal with some bizarre clients!

Mine can't top any of the previous ones in hilarious-ness but:

I remember a girl coming to me for L&P probably a year after I'd began doing nails so was a little bit unsure still how to deal with clients - anyway it was summer and she kicked off her flip flop and started messing with her foot while I was doing the nails on one of her hands, I was a little bit repulsed at this but said nothing. The next moment she said 'yuck look at this blister its killing me' I braved a glance downwards and saw she'd managed to blister a huge area near to her heel which had burst and formed into a huge loose flap of skin, she then got some scissors out of her bag and snipped the piece of skin off which was all thick and yellowy and about the size of a 50p piece!

The horrible thing is, a few days later I pulled out my desk to give it a good clean underneath and found the offending flap of skin under it - it had gone all hard and crispy - yuk yuk yuk!!

Oh NO that's disgusting!!!! Did you ever see her again??

 

[lpq]

These are all so funny!

Mine was not long into my career i was working on a nail bar within a department store, around the corner from the bar there was a pedicure area, which was really open to everyone walking past and everyone hated it but still people would come to get pedi's.
One day i had a woman in and it was a saturday majorly busy i sat her down with a glass of champagne and said id just go get the footspa.
Went and got it came back and there was a man sat beside her, Now a lot of the time people brought their husbands in or they would come and meet them and sit in on the treatment as the store was so open. i smiled said hello and that i would go get water to fill up the spa.
Went to get a jug of water, came back filled up spa half way and the client gave me a funny look.. i couldnt understand why i worried it was because i was taking so long so exclaimed "just one more trip ill be 2 seconds!!"

ran round to get more water came back and the man beside her had proceeded to take off his trainers and socks and was trying to put his feet in the spa! i then noticed his socks were caked in mud, god know how i didnt notice it before but this man was clearly homeless he was soo dirty and torn clothes etc!! the woman looked at me with horror and i nervously mouthed to her "do you know him?" which she shouted NO!!!

I had to run and get a security man to get him out!! 2 security men went over to the man and told him to get his shoes and socks on and that he needed to leave immediatly!! the man then (im in scotland) said to my client "HERE HEN, HUD MY CHANGE THE NOO" and made her hold with 2 hands cupped a pile of 1p and 2ps while he put his shoes on!!!

He was escourted out and i couldnt wait to change the water!! yuk!! thankfully the customer thought it was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards!

 

[An*Gel]

These are all so funny!

Mine was not long into my career i was working on a nail bar within a department store, around the corner from the bar there was a pedicure area, which was really open to everyone walking past and everyone hated it but still people would come to get pedi's.
One day i had a woman in and it was a saturday majorly busy i sat her down with a glass of champagne and said id just go get the footspa.
Went and got it came back and there was a man sat beside her, Now a lot of the time people brought their husbands in or they would come and meet them and sit in on the treatment as the store was so open. i smiled said hello and that i would go get water to fill up the spa.
Went to get a jug of water, came back filled up spa half way and the client gave me a funny look.. i couldnt understand why i worried it was because i was taking so long so exclaimed "just one more trip ill be 2 seconds!!"

ran round to get more water came back and the man beside her had proceeded to take off his trainers and socks and was trying to put his feet in the spa! i then noticed his socks were caked in mud, god know how i didnt notice it before but this man was clearly homeless he was soo dirty and torn clothes etc!! the woman looked at me with horror and i nervously mouthed to her "do you know him?" which she shouted NO!!!

I had to run and get a security man to get him out!! 2 security men went over to the man and told him to get his shoes and socks on and that he needed to leave immediatly!! the man then (im in scotland) said to my client "HERE HEN, HUD MY CHANGE THE NOO" and made her hold with 2 hands cupped a pile of 1p and 2ps while he put his shoes on!!!

He was escourted out and i couldnt wait to change the water!! yuk!! thankfully the customer thought it was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards!

Brilliant story :lol:

 

[lisaemily81]

I work from home so my clients see my house all the time...
One client/friend (as they turn into!) said quite casually...
"Lisa, when you die i want your christmas tree baubles..."
Oh..ok!!!

xx

 

[AllThumbs]

Omg i have something new for this thread! I saw two cars hit each other on purpose outside my new shop and the guys get in a fight in the street! We had to call the cops Hahaha!

 

[Chelliesnails]

I once got a woman who came in and her feet were disgusting...she then proceded to tell me she liked to clean out her horse stalls barefoot cause she liked the feel of it between her toes. :x

lol ladies, we have a great job![/QUOTE]


OMG!!! I've had a lady like this. She was recommend to me by a very good client and at the time I had a salon at home, for a pedicure and polish. This lady came in with her horse boots on covered in thick MUCK!! No socks and again loads of horse muck on and inbetween her toes as she liked the Squelsh feeling. Her feet stunk to high heaven. I then thought no way matey!! So I asked her what had she booked in for and tried a puzzelled look. She said a luxury pedicure and polish. I then apologised to her and said her friend had booked her for a polish for her fingers. To which she said oh dear I'm off to a ball tomorrow night so I thought i'd have a pedicure and get my toes done as I only wanted a strip wash for quickness tomorrow night! Then she begged me to just paint her toes. I did this, but I couldn't speak to her properly as her feet were so stinky even with me spraying them with sanitizers etc. The worst thing was Hubby came home not seeing her boots in the hall and said "OH MY GOD, what is that disgusting smell? It smells like somethings rolled in S**T and died! I didn't know where to put my face! she just replied OH I know I you never know what your kids can step in and walk on your floor!!!! I was speechless!!! The was the lady who recommended her asked me how I got on and I replied if she had anymore friends like that could she send them elsewhere lol. But the worst thing was I met up with this lady via a friend at a Pampered Chef party, she was the host and infornt of everyone announced that I had done her toenail 7 months ago and it was still on her toes!!! Hence I didn't eat anything there!!!

 

[WaxGirl]

Not so much what someone has said but something funny happened today! Went to do a new set of nails on a young lady, brand new client. She lives at house number 79, hadnt been on this road and all way there was chanting 79, 79, 79 which somehow when I found road had turned into number 74 so got all kit out of car and knocked on the wrong door, thankfully noone answered! Went back to car, put all kit back in whilst ringing client on my mobile. Whilst talking to her an older man came out of house few doors up and said "we're at this house,she's waiting inside" so I put mobile down said "see you in a second" and followed this man into the house. Looked at the house number and was 84 and made my excuses that I couldnt understand how I'd written number 79 down in my diary?

Was still trying to work it out when he said she's upstairs and he carried my case upstairs for me at which point a middle aged woman greeted me on the landing and said she's in here (did think was strange doing nails in a bedroom but assumed the young woman wanted it doing in peace n quiet away from her parents) Anyway went into bedroom and was an old lady sleeping in bed (looked ghastly)and other lady explained she'd been up all night with her and had been waiting for me all morning, at which point I realised something amiss!! Said to her you obviously dont want your nails done and she said no I thought you were the doctor. God Im blushing whilst Im writing this, I feel so stupid. Then had to carry all my stuff down the stairs & explain to the older man that I should have been at number 79 afterall and he explained he saw my white tunic and bag (bright pink case!) and assumed I was the doctor to look at his mother. By this time I was sweating with embarrassment but luckily on way out the NHS van was just pulling up outside. I then had to put kit back into car and find number 79 (round the corner as was a Crescent) and tell her why I had taken so long to find her!! She thought it was histerically funny thankfully and loved the nails by the way, hopefully she'll ask me back for her infills and my blondeness not put her off (I'm brunette really) OMG what a weird day????

OMG tears running down my face, could not stop laffin, had to stop reading as they was blurring my vision... wat a hilarious story and so well told!:lol::lol::lol:

 

[lisa10]

These are hilarious!! Lol xx

 

[Lou x]

Thank you everyone for cheering me up!!

Surely the best one is the woman that thought she was dating Bart and lived with the Simpson family haha x

Some are just disgusting! Lmao!
x


Sent from my iPad using SalonGeek

 

[Kerrymarie]

omg haha! this is the weirdest thing!! atlas she paid more! lol!!!

 

[serenitykim]

Once a male client was left to undress for a massage and when the therapist asked if he was ready he replied 'love I was born ready' she walked in on him lying naked on the therapy table! Not a pleasant site




Kim Serenity Beauty Treatments

Sent from my iPhone using SalonGeek

 

[Holly Byers]

these are all so funny! the last one in particular reminds me of a client i had....

she was in her 80s and always coming out with awkward questions, so i'd recently started seeing my bf (i'm jewish, so is the client but my bf isn't) we're talking about it and whether my family mind etc etc when she asks me 'so does your bf have a foreskin?!' i was so shocked i just said erm no...! it's none of her business, i couldn't believe she asked it!!!

i have another client i was at today and he cat is really naughty. he jumps onto the table while im doing her nails and starts licking and biting my nail files in the pot! we have to shoo him away constantly!!!

Yea I get this to with a regular now I take spare file and throw the one im using to the floor then he leaves me alone. Maybe he thinks I don't have more? as wont bother me after that

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sam81]

Lol this has been a welcome distraction from rubbish tv!

I've had a male client take allhis clothes off, ask if I'd massage his buttocks, to which I replied no, not on male clients, he made a few other odd comments and when I took him his water up I shouted ' are you decent?' Yes, he says so I walked back in, there he is, totally starkers! I ran back downstairs, he came down, threw the money on the reception desk and out the door! He'd taken his record card with him!

Then there was the lady who came in for reflexology, stood up half way through and said ' sorry I have to go, I'll come back for the other foot next week! Lol!

 

[endless]

I had a new client in for a full set of nails. She had really bad hair regrowth, she was a natural brunette & you could very plainly see that she had dyed her hair blonde, as the regrowth was at least 6 inchs long. She told me that after she was finished getting her nails done, she had a hair appointment. I asked her if she was getting foils done, and she replied no she was just getting a hair cut because she was a natural blonde. I think she saw the look of shock on my face cos obviously she wasnt naturally blonde, but i didn't want to upset her so i just said "oh ok". Then she stood up saying no i'l prove it to you & before i could stop her & she pulled down her pants to show me that her "downstairs" was naturally blonde.

hahahaha!! bizarre!!..........xx

 

[Rachelwhitmars]

I was doing nails for a client who was getting married the next day and she brought her little girl with her, well we all know how kids get very bored! I was working away and when I looked up to see what she was up to the child had her tongue on the glass of my retail cabinet! so I asked what are you doing, she said she had an ulcer on her tongue that was sore and she thought it would help as the glass is cold! Ha ha I could'nt stop laughing what are kids like, her mum was mortified and told her off Ha ha! " I cleaned the glass straight away when they left laughing for the rest of the day.:lol:

Lol thats funny. Poor thing! Just shows you how kids think!

 

[Pinkbunny28]

You girls have given me a right giggle!!

I don't really have any stories myself but there was a girl in my college waiting to do a leg wax, the client took her sock off and a dead mouse fell out! Yeah, seriously!...