What's your fave corny Christmas cracker joke??

[iconic]

Lol..I am currently shopping in asda and have you all seen the arrows they hold up pointing to tills with short queues? Saying 'space at this till' well, just saw a member of staff holding an arrow saying 'snowQ here' !!
Not really a joke but made me laugh!! Xx

 

[Astarstyle]

Ha ha, this is the joke that always comes first in to my head when I think of jokes!! Never fails to make me laugh either!!

Another one though..

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A. No idea!

Lol.. Oh dear me!! Xx

Ha ha... love it!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A. STILL no idea!!!!!!! Pahahahhaaaaa :smack:

 

[iconic]

Ha ha... love it!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A. STILL no idea!!!!!!! Pahahahhaaaaa :smack:

Ha ha ha ha my god! I actually read that and burst out laughing out loud!!
Oh my-I'm still sat here laughing to myself!! Actually made my day!!
Oh, I need to get out more lol!! Xxx

 

[Astarstyle]

Ha ha ha ha my god! I actually read that and burst out laughing out loud!!
Oh my-I'm still sat here laughing to myself!! Actually made my day!!
Oh, I need to get out more lol!! Xxx

Lmao... I think we may have a similar sense of humour as it completely cracks me up too! I have some absolute corkers but unfortunately need either actions or vocals Only trouble is I haven't mastered the whole 'don't laugh at your own jokes' thing and if it's a real funny then I'm lucky if I can make it through the punch line without creasing up! :smack: And once I start I can't stop! I literally do LMAO!!! :lol: xx

 

[cath4512]

what type of biscuit flies??

A plane/plain biscuit

 

[iconic]

Lmao... I think we may have a similar sense of humour as it completely cracks me up too! I have some absolute corkers but unfortunately need either actions or vocals Only trouble is I haven't mastered the whole 'don't laugh at your own jokes' thing and if it's a real funny then I'm lucky if I can make it through the punch line without creasing up! :smack: And once I start I can't stop! I literally do LMAO!!! :lol: xx

I think you are 100% right about the similar sense of humour lol!
God knows why, but I actually find it soo funny and I struggle to stop myself laughing out loud too! .. And as with the "don't laugh at your own jokes!" .. That is something that I too have yet to master!! Oops!! .. However hard I try- the straight face turns to a smirk, the smirk turns to a grin, the grin turns to a smile, that smile then cracks a snigger and then the snigger becomes a full blown laugh! .. Uncontrolable laugh! *blush!* .. oh dear god-somebody help the kid inside me!! Xxx

 

[Astarstyle]

I think you are 100% right about the similar sense of humour lol!
God knows why, but I actually find it soo funny and I struggle to stop myself laughing out loud too! .. And as with the "don't laugh at your own jokes!" .. That is something that I too have yet to master!! Oops!! .. However hard I try- the straight face turns to a smirk, the smirk turns to a grin, the grin turns to a smile, that smile then cracks a snigger and then the snigger becomes a full blown laugh! .. Uncontrolable laugh! *blush!* .. oh dear god-somebody help the kid inside me!! Xxx

Ditto! The worst thing is though half the time nobody else actually finds the joke that funny but they do end up hysterically laughing at me hysterically laughing! I end up begging them to stop laughing at me and making me laugh because of the pain!!

All is then calm and all of a sudden an hour later I will think about it and it starts all over again!!

Oh dear... I think I need help too :Scared:

xx

 

[Noodle]

What does Batman's mum say to him when it's time for tea?

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, Batman !

 

[dandelionpoppy]

OK; I've got to admit it, my favourite joke, maybe as it's the only one I can remember is:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

 

[HWilliams]

OK; I've got to admit it, my favourite joke, maybe as it's the only one I can remember is:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Groan... Love it

 

[iconic]

Ditto! The worst thing is though half the time nobody else actually finds the joke that funny but they do end up hysterically laughing at me hysterically laughing! I end up begging them to stop laughing at me and making me laugh because of the pain!!

All is then calm and all of a sudden an hour later I will think about it and it starts all over again!!

Oh dear... I think I need help too :Scared:

xx

Lol, I relate to you sooo much!!

Xx

 

[HWilliams]

What do you xall an Irish window salesmen?

Paddy O'Doors

What do you call 2 parallel lines of vegetables?

A dual cabbageway

 

[emma@TheLaurel]

(from my daughter Poppy) why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

 

[annie:)]

(from my daughter Poppy) why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

Is it bad that i dont get this? Lol xx

Sent from my X10i

 

[Elaine143a]

Is it bad that i dont get this? Lol xx

Sent from my X10i

YES!:lol:

But to explain, a hoe is a garden implement - 3 gardens = 3 hoe's, or in santa speak, ho, ho, ho!

Get it now

The rest of these cheesy jokes have made me almost choke on my wine and that's never a good look!

 

[annie:)]

YES!:lol:

But to explain, a hoe is a garden implement - 3 gardens = 3 hoe's, or in santa speak, ho, ho, ho!

Get it now

The rest of these cheesy jokes have made me almost choke on my wine and that's never a good look!

Haha thanks for that xx

Sent from my X10i

 

[Hazemalone]

How does Bob Marley eat his Christmas pudding?

With jammin

Ha ha :biggrin:

 

[kimi1101]

A six year old told me this one

What is rudolphs favourite day?

Red nose day lol

 

[HWilliams]

A dog is for life not for Christmas... So watch who you pull at the Staff Christmas Do

What's the fastest cake?
Scone

Cow on roller skates?
Past your eyes

 

[HWilliams]

How do snails keep their shells shiny?

With snail varnish