Keep your head up. Everything is gonna be ok.
I have been nail tech for a year and I still got some points where I sort of feel discouraged, yet it was far worse at beginning.
Practice makes perfect - if you haven't got a lot of clients and training so far, I would suggest you just post on your social media, that you have some nail art ideas you want to try out and ask does anyone want to be your "guinea pig". And do some manis/pedis for free or for symbolic cost - as you are allowed to paint etc. what ever on their nails - there is your chance to practice cuticle work or whatever else you like, and you don't have to tell anyone what exactly you want to improve without feeling ashamed.
As far as it goes for cuticle work - you might be over-doing it.
I usually put cuticle remover - let it do it's work. When it's time to push back, if you see that cuticle remover has dried out, put a drop of water there and then push back the cuticle, so you won't scratch the nail surface. I usually need 1-2 minutes max to do this on all 10 nails. Several light pushes with pusher usually does the job for me. Then just wipe the area with paper towel and nip any loose ends and hangnails with nippers.
(As peviously suggested - you should stick to one cuticle pusher, or atleast the same type of cuticle pusher. My personal preference would be 1st and 4th. However, find what suits you the best.)
You don't really have to worry much if there is micro amounts of cuticle left on nail if you do gels or gel polish, because you are going to buff the nail anyway, so that will get rid of any remaining micro cuticle on nail.