stop being harsh geeks

[CurlyQs]

Just like to have my 2p worth! I am new to this site, too, and still feeling my way around. I have found it extremely worthwhile and definitely helpful in that all the questions I want to ask are answered in a positive and helpful manner.

However, I do beg to differ from the above quote. Before I went into nails I worked as a PA for 30 years and the company always had a policy on "e-mail etiquette". No matter how you put messages across, we should all try not to offend - the same goes for forums. It doesn't take long to think before you type!!! Everyone is different in personality. So....let's keep the love coming!:hug:

I wasn't referring to people being rude -that is unacceptable. I was referring to people who take offense when someone is straightforward or offers information that one takes to mean they are thought to be stupid. I think we need to remember that the written word can be taken many ways and be tolerant of that. Many times when people are offended it isn't because the poster didn't follow 'email etiquette' but that they have felt sensitive to the response, iykwim. Very few posters set out to offend. What I am trying to say is that some people aren't warm and fuzzy but that doesn't mean they are trying to be offensive. I totally agree that we should try not to offend, and I really think most do.:hug:

 

[Snugglepuss]

I'm gonna throw a spanner in the bucket if you don't mind :hug:

I have already stated that EVERYONE feels this way from time to time - even the mods.

So what do we do about it? we have to realise that we can't please everyone AND as long as we have the best intentions and thought our reply through - then what more can we ask? we all have different opinions and we will not agree all of the time!

I truly want to MAKE EVERYONE happy, but I realise now - that I can't - I have to ask the question of myself - who am I trying to please?

people I care for?
me?
people I don't get on with or feel uncomfortable with?

if it is #1 or #2 then that is fine BUT if it is #3 then you are onto a losing battle - you will never get them to agree with you overnight - maybe in years to come but not now :hug:

Take a step back all those that feel "hurt" and you may then see the wood for the trees - that is - you will see the ones that have your best interests at heart :green: and those that don't

We all want to be important and it takes time :hug: keep reading, learning and contributing and you will see the benefits :hug::green:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Without continually bumping this back up, I was thinking about this last night ... and I think sometimes the newbies need to give us "old hands" a break too! When I first came onto this site I said what I felt in the way that I would express it if I was face to face - this got me the odd negative rep point, and the odd pm asking why I was so outspoken! I HAVE learnt to post in as tactful a way as I can, sometimes it can take me half an hour to write a post to make sure that NOT ONE WORD can be taken out of context or miscontrued. Do you know how bloody hard work that is?

Newbies please remember that education is, in the main, not our profession. We come on here and give freely of our time. We don't have to reply to you at all - heck we don't need to. We come in from an 8 hour shift from a salon, tired and hungry. We may have husbands and children to sort out. We may have had a crap day and then we see a thread that we feel we can offer advice from and feel - oh dear I'd better not reply as it's a newbie and I don't have the energy to make it all fluffy and nice and so I won't post in case I offend someone ... and then you don't get the replies. Or we see the same old questions being asked and we just don't have the energy to type out the same old answer for the hundredth time - or if we do then we do it very succinctly.

So please newbies DO remember that this resource is free to you and be grateful that a more experienced person is taking their time to help you FOR FREE, NADA, NOWT! ... and often we don't even get a thanks to it ... but we still keep posting, even though WE are offended at some of the lack of courtesy.

So yup let's all stop being so darned sensitive and picking on certain words that we feel are totally aimed at us and take the whole post in its entire context. The more you tell us old hands to watch what we post then sorry we just won't bother - who needs the aggro?

...and if you feel we are being harsh, boy have you a rude awakening with some future clients, if you can't cope with the odd "off" word from us then I really fear for your sensitivities when confronted with a ranting client!!!!

... and now I feel like I have to say sorry if this post has caused offence, and I really think I don't need to as I've not been rude, I've just said how I feel and making you all understand where some of us are coming from. :hug:

 

[Vetty]

Without continually bumping this back up, I was thinking about this last night ... and I think sometimes the newbies need to give us "old hands" a break too! When I first came onto this site I said what I felt in the way that I would express it if I was face to face - this got me the odd negative rep point, and the odd pm asking why I was so outspoken! I HAVE learnt to post in as tactful a way as I can, sometimes it can take me half an hour to write a post to make sure that NOT ONE WORD can be taken out of context or miscontrued. Do you know how bloody hard work that is?

Newbies please remember that education is, in the main, not our profession. We come on here and give freely of our time. We don't have to reply to you at all - heck we don't need to. We come in from an 8 hour shift from a salon, tired and hungry. We may have husbands and children to sort out. We may have had a crap day and then we see a thread that we feel we can offer advice from and feel - oh dear I'd better not reply as it's a newbie and I don't have the energy to make it all fluffy and nice and so I won't post in case I offend someone ... and then you don't get the replies. Or we see the same old questions being asked and we just don't have the energy to type out the same old answer for the hundredth time - or if we do then we do it very succinctly.

So please newbies DO remember that this resource is free to you and be grateful that a more experienced person is taking their time to help you FOR FREE, NADA, NOWT! ... and often we don't even get a thanks to it ... but we still keep posting, even though WE are offended at some of the lack of courtesy.

So yup let's all stop being so darned sensitive and picking on certain words that we feel are totally aimed at us and take the whole post in its entire context. The more you tell us old hands to watch what we post then sorry we just won't bother - who needs the aggro?

...and if you feel we are being harsh, boy have you a rude awakening with some future clients, if you can't cope with the odd "off" word from us then I really fear for your sensitivities when confronted with a ranting client!!!!

... and now I feel like I have to say sorry if this post has caused offence, and I really think I don't need to as I've not been rude, I've just said how I feel and making you all understand where some of us are coming from. :hug:

With you all the way! :hug:

 

[becki x]

Me too,top post Sass :hug:

 

[pinkmummy]

I need to spread the love Sassy, but the thought was there.:hug: Great post.

 

[izzidoll]

I think Pinkmummy was right...this is one of those threads that can be a bit explosive. Seems this time I am going to be the one who lights the blue touch paper and retires ...possibly quite literally , as I have had enough.

I just don't seem to understand this site anymore.

I have a regular contributor to this site for years, answering technical questions, to the best of my ability, and joining in with the chit chat and getting to know my fellow geeks.

Since when did giving information become such a big crime?

As Sassy says, all of the technical advice and help on here is free of charge, and yet it seems to me of late that a lot of factual, technical and helpful advice has been getting flung back in peoples faces. WHY?

This at a time when we had such a surge of new Educators on here...whose only advice it seems is
'contact this number for training' and never actually give any helpful, PRACTICAL advice.

Is that what I am supposed to be doing?

You can't come across as harsh, condescending, or arrogant if you do that I suppose.

Only thing is, wouldn't that just make this site a Directory and not a Forum?

Well, I find Directories boring.

I think that this thread, has been the last straw for me on this site, with some of the comments that have been made on it, and just the sheer pointlessness of the thread.

If anyone thinks something has been harsh, deal with it by PM or contact a Moderator , that is the way the site is run, and I think it is a system that works pretty well.

 

[janeawallace]

Hi All

I am sorry that some of you feel that way about my thread, i dont find it a pointless thread my self and to be fair i have had quite a few PM's that agree. I am not saying that all the replies should be softened up at all but when i or others have asked a basic question sometimes the replies come across:smack: as like why on earth are you asking that. Yes you are all giving your time for free etc and we all appreciate that but if you dont feel like repling becasue you are tired etc then don't. Tbh wish i hadnt bothered now as lots of you appear to have read my thread the wrong way which is ironic really!! Think this thread should now be closed!!:hug::hug::hug:

 

[florence2004]

Why not add another geek commandment about using forums to complain?

I was a little upset with a comment that was on a post of mine the other day, but I remarked about it in my journal/blog instead. I was able to give more specific details about what had been said and why I felt it had upset me. The geek in question saw my entry. explained her position and everything was sorted out without airing our dirty laundry in public so to speak.

If you are seriously offended by something another person has said in a post, try to speak to them directly about it, it may not have been ment the way the way it came across!

 

[janeawallace]

Yes point taken:Grope:

 

[JDs]

If anyone thinks something has been harsh, deal with it by PM or contact a Moderator , that is the way the site is run, and I think it is a system that works pretty well.

this is the way it should be dealt with. Thank you Izzidoll for pointing this out once again.:hug:

 

[nicky's nails]

sometimes it can take me half an hour to write a post to make sure that NOT ONE WORD can be taken out of context or miscontrued. Do you know how bloody hard work that is?
yep hun i have to retype most of my posts pmsl

Newbies please remember that education is, in the main, not our profession. We come on here and give freely of our time. We don't have to reply to you at all - heck we don't need to. We come in from an 8 hour shift from a salon, tired and hungry. We may have husbands and children to sort out. We may have had a crap day and then we see a thread that we feel we can offer advice from and feel - oh dear I'd better not reply as it's a newbie and I don't have the energy to make it all fluffy and nice and so I won't post in case I offend someone ... and then you don't get the replies. Or we see the same old questions being asked and we just don't have the energy to type out the same old answer for the hundredth time - or if we do then we do it very succinctly. spot on again

So please newbies DO remember that this resource is free to you and be grateful that a more experienced person is taking their time to help you FOR FREE, NADA, NOWT! ... and often we don't even get a thanks to it ... but we still keep posting, even though WE are offended at some of the lack of courtesy.

So yup let's all stop being so darned sensitive and picking on certain words that we feel are totally aimed at us and take the whole post in its entire context. The more you tell us old hands to watch what we post then sorry we just won't bother - who needs the aggro? no-one thats who sass

...and if you feel we are being harsh, boy have you a rude awakening with some future clients, if you can't cope with the odd "off" word from us then I really fear for your sensitivities when confronted with a ranting client!!!! lol too true

... and now I feel like I have to say sorry if this post has caused offence, and I really think I don't need to as I've not been rude, I've just said how I feel and making you all understand where some of us are coming from. :hug:

well as usual sass, everything that everyone else wanted to say has been summed up by you perfectly, end of subject i think now, before it does get harsh lol

nicky x

 

[Snugglepuss]

To those that feel down about the site - take a look at some of these posts, which hopefully will make you feel better :hug:

http://www.salongeek.com/chit-chat/45325-importance-criticism-understanding.html

http://www.salongeek.com/chit-chat/44727-de-clutter-your-daft-head.html

http://www.salongeek.com/misc-articles/58588-trolls-beware-cyber-bullies-part-one.html

Hugs and snuggs to each and everyone of you :hug:

 

[aunaturale]

You shouldn't let a few people ruin your enthusiasm for this site.There are FAR too many helpful non egotistical folks on here that do ENJOY sharing "real" information and encouragement to others.First impressions do apply to forums as well,if you don't care if people like you in face to face meetings then you probably don't care how you come accross on here either
When someone asks for your help and you answer with "well,I don't have that problem because I am god of nails,and perfect in all that I do"(not literally said that way but you get the idea,and I myself have seen some answers that could put people on the defensive)
That is not at all constructive or helpful that is just snide!
If someone feels that they cant post a constructive or helpful answer they should just read the question and move on to something that they can be helpful with.
I know there are some that I really don't care for, as my first impression of them was as I stated above.If you will just sit back and read some of the other posts by those who hit you with a negative answer,you will see in their post history that they do that quite often in other posts. Even if you are the greatest in your particular product line doesn't mean someone else couldn't nail circles around you with another product line.Now, for the rest of you wonderful geeks on here,THANK YOU so very much for being who you are and all the help that you have contributed to the new and not so new folks who visit this site for encouragement:hug:

 

[The Geek]

OK all, I think this discussion is dead. We have given easy options to follow if you feel that people are being bullied: Let the mods or myself know by either using the report this post function or by PMing me.

HTHs - Now go nJoy the site!