Awkward (& awful) situation!

[kimi1101]

This has really, really upset me.

I think they are in it together. The wife asked you a few times about massaging him.

Please don't go back to their house.

Lots of love xxx

 

[Laurasnowwhite]

Thank you all so much, I know you're right about not going back.

I'm sure they have done it a few times, as they've told me they struggle to find a good mobile therapist.

I actually live 15 miles away from them, surely there are other therapists closer, unless they've scared them all off!!

I'm a bit scared of the wife if I'm honest!! She's booked for the 28th and goes on holiday on the 29th, if I just pull a sickie I can only really do it on the day and that doesn't give her time to get in anywhere else, so she will be seriously peed!

I also don't think a salon would do her feet, she has a lot of problems with her toes, I have told her in no uncertain terms that she needs to see a podiatrist as I'm not a doctor, but she just says yeah I will and doesn't.

I wear my gloves for the whole treatment, changing after the wet pedi to apply creams, but they're just minging!!

I've even had to buy new bottles of base coat, top coat and the polish I use on her (so far she's had 2 different colours!) as I'm worried about cross contamination.

I know I'm being a fool, but I'm new in the game and don't want to be seen as struggling :-(

Thanks for all your advice, I may be "signed off sick" a few days before!!

Lx

 

[lucyboo]

I would also report him to the police Hun even if it's just to make them aware of the situation or they could already be aware of him especially as they can't find any therapists x please don't go back & to make it easier tell the wife she really needs to see a podiatrist regards the condition of her feet and your insurance doesn't cover you with the condition of her feet, xxx

 

[Nat-Nat]

eek I'll look out for them, thankfully I dont do massage! There's some wierd people out there, dont go back!

I was contacted by a lady who was looking for someone to wax her husband for charity. I said to her that I didnt do male waxing but would like to help as it was for charity, thought it may get into local paper and get a plug for me too! Anyway she came back saying it was his legs but if he raised enough he would have his 'crack' waxed too, thought that was highly odd for charity, I expected people to be there watching etc seems not! In the same breath she asked if I did Hollywoods, thankfully I could use the I'm not qualified in intimate waxing excuse! Very strange!

 

[Lolly22]

Hi Laura,

I would not be going back to that house either. They just seem so weird, like others have said, like they are in on something together. The wife clearly doesn't mind her husband behaviour as "it saves her a job". So she more or less condones it.

Maybe this was their plan all along to book you first for a few treatments then once you gained a bit of trust try and see what you would do for some extra cash.

I would be calling the wife in advance before her treatment and tell her that you refuse to treat her husband anymore because you found his behaviour in appropriate and unacceptable. And therefore you won't be coming to the house again to treat her either. That's all you have to say and say goodbye. No need to discuss anything further with her and no need for it to be frightening.

If you wait untill the day and pull a sicky not only will it make you seem unreliable and unprofessional they will tell anyone who listens about you. Also it means they will keep calling you to book in.

Telling the wife the truth gets it nipped in the bud and I doubt you will be hearing from them again.

 

[Zo Zo]

Thank you all so much, I know you're right about not going back.

I'm sure they have done it a few times, as they've told me they struggle to find a good mobile therapist.

I actually live 15 miles away from them, surely there are other therapists closer, unless they've scared them all off!!

Never mind the distance, there are plenty of masseurs / masseuses that offer naturist massage and / or sexual services, so why don't they just go to Gumtree and find what they're looking for!?

I'm a bit scared of the wife if I'm honest!! She's booked for the 28th and goes on holiday on the 29th, if I just pull a sickie I can only really do it on the day and that doesn't give her time to get in anywhere else, so she will be seriously peed!

Please don't pull a sickie, Cancel her NOW. Job done. If you can't face being at all honest in your reasons, which I understand, just say you've realised 15 miles is too far for mobile work, and not cost effective in terms of your time and petrol. If she doesn't accept this, just say you've made up your mind and try to avoid getting into an argument. If she is at all abusive, threaten to report her to the police.

I also don't think a salon would do her feet, she has a lot of problems with her toes, I have told her in no uncertain terms that she needs to see a podiatrist as I'm not a doctor, but she just says yeah I will and doesn't.

I wear my gloves for the whole treatment, changing after the wet pedi to apply creams, but they're just minging!!

I've even had to buy new bottles of base coat, top coat and the polish I use on her (so far she's had 2 different colours!) as I'm worried about cross contamination.

I know I'm being a fool, but I'm new in the game and don't want to be seen as struggling :-(

Thanks for all your advice, I may be "signed off sick" a few days before!!

Lx

I agree with others, you don't need clients like this and you shouldn't be going back:hug:

 

[amys-beauty]

I would agree with Lolly, I would tell the wife now the reasons for not going back. She may not know what her husbands like?! (That may just be me being nieve) but I suspected she likes you as a therapist and will now loose you because of her husbands antics! Plus if you pull a sickie you will only stew over it until then. Nip it in the bud now and let us know how you get on

 

[Zo Zo]

I don't really want to generalise here but naturists are often swingers so my money is on the wife 1. knowing what he's like, 2. condoning it, and 3. waiting to become involved.

 

[BTYRetreat]

I think you need to call sooner rather than later to cancel, you don't even have to explain why if its difficult for you just say your piece say thank you and put the phone down.

I think it would be an extremely bad idea to ever go there again, if something happened most people would say why on earth did she go back there iyswim x

 

[izzidoll]

I wouldnt be the least bit surprised if you werent the only victim of theirs.

Very easy to find a mobile therapist, book her in for an innocent pedicure for your wife and then up the ante a bit at a time.

Its probably a game to them. Let the dirty old man soak his wifes cheesy feet and get out of there. If you go back its like saying you dont mind his behaviour.

You will soon pick up new and respectful clients. Its worth waiting.

Totally agree with this, if you go back he could construe that you now don't have a problem with his behaviour.

Hi Laura,


I would be calling the wife in advance before her treatment and tell her that you refuse to treat her husband anymore because you found his behaviour inappropriate and unacceptable.
Telling the wife the truth gets it nipped in the bud and I doubt you will be hearing from them again.

I don't really want to generalise here but naturists are often swingers so my money is on the wife 1. knowing what he's like, 2. condoning it, and 3. waiting to become involved.

:Scared:

I agree with everyone, keep yourself safe, cancel by telling the truth and move on.
I know it is a tough time out there at the moment to start up a business, but there are good clients out there who will respect you and your work, just hold on until they find you. :hug:

 

[Nic1980]

YUK!! They were definitely feeling the water with regards to your reaction.
You know what, even if they (he/she) paid double I would never go back!
To be put in a situation like that in someone else's home!? No way!!

 

[sarah1988]

This is a horrible situation to be in and I too have been there! At the time I worked in a salon and the guy was offering me money for extras and saying sit on me I'll put my tail in!!!!

He was removed immediately from the salon and told never to return, to my horror he then turned back up 10 mins later offering me roses LOL!!

I think best thing to do is speak to the wife and never go back!
What if she then recommends you to their "friends" and you may keep coming across this situation as the others said if you go back they will take it that your ok with it.

Good luck and be safe! xx

 

[Crystal colleen]

U poor thing.I wouldn't pull a sickey I would be honest and say that your husband made me feel very uncomfortable and you are not going to be doi g treatments on either of them because you don't like to be spoken to and made to feel the way that he has made u feel.they were grooming u huni so don't go back.naturists rant actually normally swingers they ate just people that like to be free they have no interest in others bits and bobs lol he used this as an excuse I think to then go on to talking trash to u dint go back there be safe xxx

 

[Lolly22]

I don't really want to generalise here but naturists are often swingers so my money is on the wife 1. knowing what he's like, 2. condoning it, and 3. waiting to become involved.

I was thinking this too Zozo.

And I think the wife defo knows, he says he told her when the therapist "finished him off" when they were on holiday and she says it saved her a job. So the both of them seem to in on this together.

 

[Laurasnowwhite]

thank you everyone for making me feel better about the whole situation.

i really don't think i can cope with the confrontation, so i think i'm going to write a letter (the appointment isn't until the 28th, so there is plenty of time for it to arrive)

i will also call their local police and see if there is any previous reports of this couple.

 

[unas escarlata]

No way would I go back, unless I had accidentally swapped massage oil for chilli oil.

 

[jcpark]

I do feel for you, and agree with others that you can do without clients like this, even in hard times. One thing I would add though, is that I wouldn't say he made you feel 'uncomfortable' (even if he obviously did). You need to take control and the word 'uncomfortable puts you as the victim. In your situation I would say that his behaviour/discussion was 'inappropriate' - this puts you in the position of the professional therapist rather than the victim. I wouldn't pull a sickie either - I would make it quite clear that his/their behaviour was quite inappropriate and as a professional therapist you are not prepared to treat them. This puts the responsibility firmly back in their court and you the control back with you.
Good luck.

 

[Sher16]

No way would I go back, unless I had accidentally swapped massage oil for chilli oil.

And send a big burly man round to do it instead of you!!!

If this happened to me my other half would have no issues going to his next appt instead of me. infact id have to stop him! Not sure I would be able to

Its sad, because there are so many m&f clients just looking for a massage. Not a massage with a happy ending - they should visit a brothel not a beautician - I cannot understand why it is difficult to digest that we are therapists not prostitutes.

I am so sorry this happened to you, OP, but keep faith that not all are like this. And definitely do not go back. A polite but abrupt letter, as you say, to his wife to advise that due to her husbands inappropriate and downright vulgar behaviour you will not return for the booked appts and will be contacting the police and local therapists to warn them of what they are up to.


Hugs x

 

[dee]

do not go back they sound extremely weird
look at the amount of crimes committed by couples that egg each other on, people think women are nice and they wont be hurt if women are in the house .. not true at all shes obviously in on it , stay well clear x

 

[shedunlop]

U poor thing.I wouldn't pull a sickey I would be honest and say that your husband made me feel very uncomfortable and you are not going to be doi g treatments on either of them because you don't like to be spoken to and made to feel the way that he has made u feel.they were grooming u huni so don't go back.naturists rant actually normally swingers they ate just people that like to be free they have no interest in others bits and bobs lol he used this as an excuse I think to then go on to talking trash to u dint go back there be safe xxx

I agree that true Naturists are not swingers but unfortunately there are a lot of swingers who are Naturists as well. I had a driving instructor once who was a Naturist, he said, then he spent the next 6 driving lessons trying to get me to join him and his wife on a weekend away.

The minority ruin things for the majority really and everything these days seems to get taken over by people who have other agendas.

To the OP. You need to stay safe and the only way to do that is to make sure that you don't ever put yourself in harms way. That goes for the rest of you on here too. There is only one way to make sure that you stay safe and that is to think about all the possible outcomes of a situation and imagine the worst. Then make a judgement.