What shall I do?

[Deni]

Hi Ella...
I think in your last posting you answered your own question don't you?

If you LOVE doing nails and LOVE the life you have now then i think you should carry on.
You will succeed, i am sure, in reaching your own goal by teaching nails too. You certainly have a lot of determination and obviously are a very intellegent and wonderful woman...your children will and proberbly already do feel very loved, secure and extremely proud of you...want more could they possibly want or need?
There are some things money just CANNOT buy!

 

[yogacat]

Any decision you make must be *your* decision, and one that you can live with happily. Having said that...

There seem to be some points that other people haven't mentioned. How old are your children? This is bound to be a factor in your decision making. If they are very young, you may be less inclined to leave them than if they are a little older.
What about your partner (if you have one). What kind of hours do they work? Could they help with childcare? Change their hours? What about other members of the family, or close friends? Would your partner want to stay at home some of the time if this job is too good an opportunity to miss? Could you work flex-time in this position, or might there be some degree of flexiblity for you?

Are you thinking about taking the job *purely* b/c of the money, or are there lots of other factors such as enjoyable work, prestige, ability to rise within the workplace? Could you try the job for 3, 6 months or a year and then leave if it didn't suit you? After all, you can't totally know what it would be like until you try it. Will you kick yourself later if you don't try it?

Have you tried asking your children to see what they think? Of course if they are quite young they won't be able to make very informed comments, but it may be helpful.

Good luck with your decision...

 

[ella]

How old are your children? This is bound to be a factor in your decision making.

What about your partner (if you have one). What kind of hours do they work? Could they help with childcare? Change their hours? What about other members of the family, or close friends? Would your partner want to stay at home some of the time if this job is too good an opportunity to miss? Could you work flex-time in this position, or might there be some degree of flexiblity for you?

Are you thinking about taking the job *purely* b/c of the money, or are there lots of other factors such as enjoyable work, prestige, ability to rise within the workplace? Could you try the job for 3, 6 months or a year and then leave if it didn't suit you? After all, you can't totally know what it would be like until you try it. Will you kick yourself later if you don't try it?

Have you tried asking your children to see what they think? Of course if they are quite young they won't be able to make very informed comments, but it may be helpful.

Good luck with your decision...

Well my husband is in the Navy, so flexibility for him is NOT an option. He is also fairly senior so tends to work long days. Due to this, I may even find myself on my own with the children for long periods (up to 9 months) at sea) so I have to treat this as though I were a single parent effectively. My mother works full time (and would not help) and all other family are overseas. I would feel uncomfortable asking friends for help.

I talked to the children about it (they are 3 and nearly 6) and the older one said he thought it would be good as he wanted to go and see his grandad (I explained the extra money would help pay for the trip) but my little girl got really upset and I don't think really understood at all.

As far as asking the employer the employer for flexibility - well that I could try. I have noting to lose by that. If I tried it for a short time I would lose my nails clients who are all very loyal and regular and some have become real friends. That is probably the only risk with trying it short term. I guess I would get more clients if I came back to nails but I like the crowd I have now.

 

[cuticles]

Hi Ella,

You have had some fantastic contributions here to your post.

Despite major changes over the last 25 years, it is a fact of life that we girls get the lions share of childcare etc.

Knowing this and your own family circumstances, choosing nails as a career is a fantastic decision, you can teach it, practice it, stop for a while to give birth, start up again and give yourself full flexibility in YOUR life. It is certainly not considered a negative having a career break etc. This however does not solve your intention to change your lifestyle.

How many sets of nails would you have to do to pay for a flight?

How many hours of work - not in traffic, listening to office politics would this take?

This may help focus you, I think your little ones are too young to make a decision for you, they don't really understand the concept of you not being there - so you are back to making the decision for yourself again!

REMEMBER, you have now chosen a career with choices - now is the time to build it for yourself.

Good luck

Cathy :lol:

 

[Peppercorn Nails]

Hi Ella

I guess this job will not be an ordinary 9-5 position, which means that you'll see even less of your children. Is this the sort of job where you're going to have to bring work home in the evenings/weekends as well?

Like you have mentioned, nails is such a flexible and rewarding career, if you really love it so much why not build on it and go on and do your teaching training. That way you can have the best of both worlds........ok so you may not make the money this other job can provide, but you obviously adore your children and at the end of the day you can still be there when they are ill, when they have a school play and for the school run.

Everybody has given you good solid advice from both sides, but this is our advice.........you must decide which is the best path for you. I personally know that I just wouldn't be able to leave my children, which is why (like so many of us) decided on this career.

Ella, whatever you choose, make sure you're happy with it and then never doubt it or question it with 'what it.............'

Good luck and remember we're all behind you.
Adele

 

[ella]

Thankyou everyone so much for your sincere and heartfelt replies.

I have made lists of pros and cons and searched my heart for the right answer, and the answer was in fact staring me in the face the whole time - my children. I asked my little boy why he loved his mummy, and he said "because you like spending time with me". He's right, he needs me and not money.

I spoke to his teacher (who previously worked at the private school that we have considered but now is a state primary teacher) and she said that she truly beleived in the state system, and that she felt he would do well wherever he was.

My little girl is already at a private nursery school as she was assesed by her former preschool as gifted. With the use of nursery vouchers this actually doesn't cost much at all. The school have said that they would consider giving her a bursary when she is 5, and if that fails apparently the Navy will give us a special allowance to pay for her education! (Didn't know that before)

As far as visiting my dad is concerned, well that is the really big sacrifice for me - I miss him so much but it was HIS choice to move there. The big plus of course would be that as I am not working- cheap flights during term time would be a possibility (OK any teachers reading this would go mad!).

When I am honest with myself, I spent many years working really hard. Nails for me is not work - it is a passion. Life really is good right now and who knows, one day I might even do something more in the nails industry! (Watch this space)

Right now I am going to concentrate on being a really good mother and a fabulous nail tech too! Thankyou everyone, you have all helped me to think it all through and make what I now know is the right decision.

 

[naturalnails]

Good for you Ella!

 

[Mrs Geek]

I am smiling and feeling very happy for you Ella - happy because your heart has told you the right answers!!! I bet you feel like you have a weight off those shoulders... now onwards and upwards...

BTW I too think that the responses to your original post have been very moving; what a bunch of great women we have on this site (plus those few guys we mustn't foget)!!

 

[Tickled Pink!]

i have been reading these posts with interest (and moist eyes!)

For what it's worth, i think you have made the right decision Ella (tough but right)

 

[pinkshell_nails]

Im not sure if ella has to sign a long contract for this job, but in my opinion, if it was me, I would consider taking the job,and if it doesnt work out, say after a year, then she can leave? Is that not possible? There are a lot of fantastic nannies out there, who do a great job looking after your children, but research has to be done to find the right one. I personally think that she should give it a go, she can always leave if it doesnt work out and she isnt enjoying it, but if Ella doesnt try then she may spend a long period of her life wondering "what if?". Thats my opinion, good luck witht the desicion making!

Michelle.

 

[*JOANNE*]

ella like so many others who have replied i feel you have made the right decision i was in the royal navy for 5 years and fell pregnant with my first child he was unplanned i went back in the RN after he was born but left as i wanted to be around for him i loved the navy but have no regrets as i am bringing up 3 boys ,like you my husband was in the royal marines so at least one parent being around gives your children stability and routine to cope with the other parent being away.
my boys are now 9,7 and nearly 6 and it is now i have decided to think of myself hense working as a at home nail tech, i am getting fullfillment without the boys giving up on their stability.
and as they get a little older each time i will move on to bigger things reguards my passion for nails.
oppitunities allways come round they will again for you and next time your children will be more grown up so you can go for it in the mean time (motherhood does get us down and send us crazy) you will have secure and confident kids who will grow and back you up in all you do.
just my 2 pennies worth.
p.s kids prefer mummy to money.

 

[Peppercorn Nails]

Oh Ella your last post gave me tingles all over my body (ok........so it's a bit weird........but it's my body and I have no control over it!!). I'm so glad you've made your decision, and if I'm totally honest, definitely the right one

Here's looking forward to many more interesting posts.
Adele

 

[Sharon Green]

Hi Ella,

That has been one hell of a decision for you to make and in my opinion you have made the right one for you. Money helps but it is love your kids need more than anything else and lots of memories of all the fun you had together not how much money was spent on a 'swanky' holiday, car etc....

Sharon

 

[DEBSY]

I am positive you have made the right decision and wish you all the luck in the world with your career,there was a time i was working all hours and hardly saw my daughter who was 6 at the time, yes the extra money was nice but not essential,after realising it was not worth missing time with katie and getting good advice i cut my hours down,the advice given to me was to remember this""you should work to live, not live to work!!" :biggrin:

 

[Little Angel]

Hi ella

I am so glad you have made your decision and in my opinion i definatly think you should go into teaching, from your posts i can tell you are a very inspiring person with all the qualitys of a good teacher. We need people like you in our industry. At the end of the day it was YOUR descision you had to come to it in your own time.

BE HAPPY!!!!!

ps carnt your dad come see you? couldnt you take it in turns? you could send him the money cheaper for him to come to you.....just a thought!!

 

[ella]

Thankyou everyone for your lovely comments. I hope my dad will come over when the exchange rate improves for him. He also finds it very difficult to take time away from work as his business keeps him busy 7 days a week.

I really am hoping to go further down the training line. I do love to teach, but I also like collecting all sorts of sometimes (sometimes useless) bits of information about things - if you hadn't already noticed!. My friends call me "connie" (after the aol woman on the ads who knows all the answers). I am currently reading about psychology of art - it is very interesting.

 

[Didi]

Hi Ella

I have just read all the posts on this thread and boy what a lot of good advice and support you had.

I too have a child who is 20 months and i went back to work when she was just 4 months old - at the time i really thought i was doing the right thing and i was lucky i had family to help look after her. Unfortunately due to ill health i had to give up which in a way i felt a little bit resentful (put this down to my Postnatal Depression). I have now been off for just over a year and took up nails in July last year and think it is the best decision i have made. I am also pregnant with my 2nd (gluten for punishement lol) and will carry on with my nails - I may go back to work eventually but at the moment for my situtation i think staying at home and doing nails is the best for me.

As mothers we always will feel guilty about depriving our children of something - e.g go back to work more money and have all the things that they haven't had or missed - and feel guilty about not being with them or you dont go back to work carry on with your nails (which i hear are great) look after the darling little ones and watch them grow - then you will probably be "what if"

Make sure when you do make your decision it is the right one for you - and you have not felt pressure and when the decision is made make sure you dont think "what if" down the line

As a mum you will always put your children first and therefore will make the right decision for you and your family - whatever it is i wish you luck and best wishes

Good luck!! xx