Liza - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have done so well to carry on in these cricumstances.
Earlier this year there was a terrible helicopter crash in the Gulf which killed 7 of my husbands colleagues. The way we all live in the Navy means we all knew these people & their families and our lives had been intertwined on so many levels for years. We all felt shocked, sad and at the same time guilty for thinking "thank god it wasn't my husband". For the first few hours we didn't know who it was, just which squadron. It was very scary.
Then this summer - I lost one of my oldest friends. Sarah was just 33 and I had known her since I was 5. She leaves behind a husband Nick and their daughter Tilly who is 4. Her death was completely unexpected and a huge shock for everyone who knew and loved her. She was the happiest smiliest person I ever met and we had so many good times together.
At the funeral they played the star wars theme as the coffin came in, everyone wore pink - some with bare feet - some with feather boas - that was just how she would have wanted it. Sarah lived her life to the full. She travelled all over the world, set up and ran a succesful business, had a fantastic family life and partied like a mad thing, was a brilliant and popular teacher. She did her best & had a laugh at everything.
To top off a terribly sad year, my mother in law's cancer has spread and the treatment has so far failed. She is not expected to make christmas. We are praying she does particularly as my sister in law is expecting twins at new year.
When I have a bad day now I can hear Sarah's voice saying "go on mate - stuff the lot of them - you can do it" She was so strong, so positive. When I have a good day - I just call it a "Sarah Day"
You have to live every day to the max. Liza - you have done just that by going out there and competing. Well done I'm really proud of you.
Keep smiling Liza, and remember the good times.