Its not what you say, its how you say it.

[drew692]

I think you're right if it's a matter of opinion, but would worry if no-one questioned something more factual. If an error has been made you should really correct it otherwise it misleads.

Mike

Thank you all for your input in this post. Mike and so many of you have highlighted the point that I was trying to make.

I'm not saying that replies to posts should be dripping in honey, or people should be walking on egg shells when responding to a post for fear of upsetting the reader, not at all, or why would anyone bother posting. But I know a few times I have posted a reply, thats quickly been put down with 'a your wrong', when in fact I wasn't, there was no apology, and that made me feel like my input wasn't valued, as so many others have been made to feel too.

Therefore for all the people who feel they post less and less because they feel they have to mind their P&Q's, there are other geeks out there who just wont post for being made to feel like their input isn't valued. And as it has been rightly said, we are all here for each other, with the long standing geeks offering a wealth of knowledge but also the new geeks bringing fresh knowledge to the table too.

I feel the world is becoming a less caring place in reality, and slowly but surely it is spilling over into the cyber world also.

The caring person is becoming a dying breed, and its almost as if some people have the attitude of I really don't care what you think, or to put it another way 'Am I bovverd'.

You can be blunt, but it is also possible to be polite along with it, and as Kim has so rightly said, there is no excuse for being rude.

 

[Gilly T]

Whats the point in a forum designed to give advice and constructive criticism if you have to soften everything you say? If something needs to be said, say it as it is, surely thats the best way to communicate?

If you are a sensitive soul with an aversion to capital letters, bold text, and direct advice, perhaps have a think about how you should change your outlook rather than asking everyone around to change their ways just to accommodate your over-sensitive side? Are we adults or teenage girls in the playground who run off crying at the first hint of a critical word??

I for one use this site far less these days because I cant stand the sugary neutral environment that is becoming more prevalent on here. I agree that sheer nastiness shouldn't be tolerated, but fortunately such posts are very few and far between. The majority of posts on here that are criticised for being abrupt/nasty are nothing of the sort, they are just direct comments where the poster hasn't minced their words.

I thought that typing in capital letters in msn, email etc., is actually shouting at someone or telling them off. I know that if someone replied to a post I put up in capitals I would assume it was said with anger or agression. This is just how I've been tought with computer, IT, email etiquette.

 

[1999judy]

At the end of the day what is written in the forums is read by everyone and it can be pretty obvious to all when things get a little nasty.
I think though overall we have a great atmosphere on the site and can't let one or two daft comments upset anyone.
BTW I'm with Jo......I'm always calling people mate.... you may have noticed:lol:
When you post remember EVERYONE can see.
So if you post something and wish you hadn't then edit your post to explain EXACTLY what you were trying to say.

 

[drew692]

I thought that typing in capital letters in msn, email etc., is actually shouting at someone or telling them off. I know that if someone replied to a post I put up in capitals I would assume it was said with anger or agression. This is just how I've been tought with computer, IT, email etiquette.

Thank you, I'm of a like mind.

If someone usually texts me, or messages me in capital letters is usually because they have their knickers in a knot about something, because thats the only way they can get their point over, as, as so many have rightly said there is no emotion.

I know people need to make a point because, they are good at what they do, are exceptionally knowledgeable and very passionate, but there is such a thing as over emphasising a point sometimes.

 

[Gilly T]

Thank you, I'm of a like mind.

If someone usually texts me, or messages me in capital letters is usually because they have their knickers in a knot about something, because thats the only way they can get their point over, as, as so many have rightly said there is no emotion.

I know people need to make a point because, they are good at what they do, are exceptionally knowledgeable and very passionate, but there is such a thing as over emphasising a point sometimes.

Aside from this, I just think it's considerate to think of how it sounds... this is nothing to do with flowering anything up or being sickly sweet etc., it's just purely and simply if it sounds ok and will be received in the manner it is intended.

I did read someone else say don't put anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face... I agree but then I am a sensitive soul. I offer no apologies for it, it's part of who I am.

 

[mikem]

Thank you all for your input in this post. Mike and so many of you have highlighted the point that I was trying to make.

I'm not saying that replies to posts should be dripping in honey, or people should be walking on egg shells when responding to a post for fear of upsetting the reader, not at all, or why would anyone bother posting. But I know a few times I have posted a reply, thats quickly been put down with 'a your wrong', when in fact I wasn't, there was no apology, and that made me feel like my input wasn't valued, as so many others have been made to feel too.

Therefore for all the people who feel they post less and less because they feel they have to mind their P&Q's, there are other geeks out there who just wont post for being made to feel like their input isn't valued. And as it has been rightly said, we are all here for each other, with the long standing geeks offering a wealth of knowledge but also the new geeks bringing fresh knowledge to the table too.

I feel the world is becoming a less caring place in reality, and slowly but surely it is spilling over into the cyber world also.

The caring person is becoming a dying breed, and its almost as if some people have the attitude of I really don't care what you think, or to put it another way 'Am I bovverd'.

You can be blunt, but it is also possible to be polite along with it, and as Kim has so rightly said, there is no excuse for being rude.

What I've found over the last few years is that despite things seemingly getting worse worldwide, I'm meeting more genuine people with kind hearts than I ever have before.

Mike

 

[mikem]

Aside from this, I just think it's considerate to think of how it sounds... this is nothing to do with flowering anything up or being sickly sweet etc., it's just purely and simply if it sounds ok and will be received in the manner it is intended.

I did read someone else say don't put anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face... I agree but then I am a sensitive soul. I offer no apologies for it, it's part of who I am.

Reading your post back to yourself before posting it can help with that.

Mike

 

[1999judy]

I'm torn between singing "I am what I am" and "it aint what you do it's the way that you do it"
Sorry I must be having a musical night:lol:

 

[lotus blossom]

i think im having deja vu!!!!!!

 

[Lellipop]

I'm torn between singing "I am what I am" and "it aint what you do it's the way that you do it"
Sorry I must be having a musical night:lol:

I would go with " I am what I am " belt it out hunny :lol:

 

[min11]

i think im having deja vu!!!!!!

Me too and in a few months time when some one else starts the same conversation we will have it again :lol:

This could run and run really, it's all been said and people will always have differing opinions as 5 pages has proved :hug:

 

[drew692]

Im sure it has all been said before, and Im sure it will all be said again, because after all entitled to our own opinions/views on all matters, because after all thats what makes us who we are and the world go round.

I'd rather say something thats on my mind (I have always been taught to stand up for my beliefs opposed to go crawl under a rock somewhere), and try express it/them best I can, and like many others I only say something I would say to someones face, and like I have said before I treat people as would hope they would treat me.

 

[jenny mosley]

Hi Drew,

I agree with Drew, as I have stated before on a previous thread.
I have had this happen to me, I got slated (for no good reason) the person who slated me, does not know me? they did'nt even bother to reply to my last post.

So that explaines it all..they don't know what they are talking about. If that's the case keep it shut..and don't slate a business that does not deserve slating.

I run my business on the highest standars that any licenceing department would be and is proud of..the work I produce is first class.

That's why this thread is so important and I agree with Drew all the way.


I think alot of it is jealousy:cry: that's why i think some can not be nice
Jenny

 

[Katelisa]

I think alot of it is jealousy:cry: that's why i think some can not be nice

I agree with you on that one hun!!

 

[JANEY K]

I thought that typing in capital letters in msn, email etc., is actually shouting at someone or telling them off. I know that if someone replied to a post I put up in capitals I would assume it was said with anger or agression. This is just how I've been tought with computer, IT, email etiquette.

same here i find that reading some threads or responding to threads seems to scream back at you with typed capital letters..i for one ignore it as it's only words on a screen..but i agree it does make others sensitive and rather upset.

 

[mye01]

I agree with people having their own opinion, but surely they can do it in a polite way!!

hi..let me share my thoughts.. i used to be a cry baby,onion skin etc.. but ive come to realize that sometimes people have to be rude in order help me be a better person..

 

[Gilly T]

hi..let me share my thoughts.. i used to be a cry baby,onion skin etc.. but ive come to realize that sometimes people have to be rude in order help me be a better person..

... I don't think someone being rude to me would make me a better person. That is unless you mean it makes you a better person by pointing out what rudeness is! I just don't see any excuse for rudeness I'm afraid, it would make me feel deflated and wishing I hadn't said anything in the first place.

 

[Bebeautiful]

Hi drew,
you are a God send, I am a very easy going person, no stress, no trouble and I am here to learn and share. I really wish that geeks can understand that we are one big family and we should respect each others input. You go girl I hope everyone reads your thread and gets thinking. Here's sending you a big hug :hug::hug:

 

[JANEY K]

hear hear beauB i agree ...we are one big happy family on here,and we do respect each others input and advice no matter how large or small ,as i said about anyone that is sensitive and easily upset when they see typed CAPITALS with a long line of !!!!! it does indicate they are shouting, iv'e done myself but it's just making your point in my opinion not an indiction of shouting..although i must admit in the past that when i fist logged on and found the internet and emails and chatrooms, i used to sit back and say hang on are you shouting at me,then i would get,then give it back to the extreme that i cussed and used a wide range of rather unsuitable abbreviations and sarcastic remarks (u know what i mean) now years later and becoming an old (not so boring) fart:lol: i figured it out that it was only to get themselves heard ,act tough and probably wouldn't say or do the things they say or do like they do online to your face, i'm thick skinned and nothing fazes me ,suppose that's because i see everything black\white have a very broad mind,take everything at face value and speak as i find and if you want my opinion you'll get it one way or another...gosh it has got me in trouble in the past and a case of i like what i say and say it how it i like well they did ask ...but i'm never rude and haven't lost friends or family over it.

Mike has made a good point and that's reading your post back to yourself before posting it can help, i'm always editing my posts because it simply doesn't sound right or come out the way intended..you know what i mean by what your saying in your head but does not come out like you were thinking when put on paper. Gilly is right about thinking someone being rude to you would make you a better person..it makes you a better person by pointing out what rudeness is and no excuse for rudeness and slating someone you don't know is not very nice at all and i for one would not dream of it.If someone was rude to me that will make me feel quite deflated and worthless and it also shatters the self esteem and confidence.

I am a very helpful ,friendly easy going person with an informative mind,i don't do trouble and I am here to learn and share experiences,tips and information with everyone ...as you do... So Drew good on you girl for putting up this thread and I hope everyone even the new geeks see and read it and gets thinking. i'm sending you a big hug :hug: to.

 

[collin]

hear hear beauB i agree ...we are one big happy family on here,and we do respect each others input and advice no matter how large or small ,as i said about anyone that is sensitive and easily upset when they see typed CAPITALS with a long line of !!!!! it does indicate they are shouting, iv'e done myself but it's just making your point in my opinion not an indiction of shouting..although i must admit in the past that when i fist logged on and found the internet and emails and chatrooms, i used to sit back and say hang on are you shouting at me,then i would get,then give it back to the extreme that i cussed and used a wide range of rather unsuitable abbreviations and sarcastic remarks (u know what i mean) now years later and becoming an old (not so boring) fart:lol: i figured it out that it was only to get themselves heard ,act tough and probably wouldn't say or do the things they say or do like they do online to your face, i'm thick skinned and nothing fazes me ,suppose that's because i see everything blackwhite have a very broad mind,take everything at face value and speak as i find and if you want my opinion you'll get it one way or another...gosh it has got me in trouble in the past and a case of i like what i say and say it how it i like well they did ask ...but i'm never rude and haven't lost friends or family over it.

Mike has made a good point and that's reading your post back to yourself before posting it can help, i'm always editing my posts because it simply doesn't sound right or come out the way intended..you know what i mean by what your saying in your head but does not come out like you were thinking when put on paper. Gilly is right about thinking someone being rude to you would make you a better person..it makes you a better person by pointing out what rudeness is and no excuse for rudeness and slating someone you don't know is not very nice at all and i for one would not dream of it.If someone was rude to me that will make me feel quite deflated and worthless and it also shatters the self esteem and confidence.

I am a very helpful ,friendly easy going person with an informative mind,i don't do trouble and I am here to learn and share experiences,tips and information with everyone ...as you do... So Drew good on you girl for putting up this thread and I hope everyone even the new geeks see and read it and gets thinking. i'm sending you a big hug :hug: to.

Not only are you helpfull,friendly and an easy going person Janey but by heck you can type "war and peace" all over again :lol::lol::lol::hug: