Special clients

[jacqueline]

Transference is not something I would ever recommend.

Best to keep your private and personal lives very much apart. I know it is hard for some but it is the professional thing to do.

 

[persianista]

I was taught years ago, by a great salon owner, that clients are never your friends. It was good advice.

There are always clients that we connect with and enjoy doing, but never forget that you are there to earn your living. You are trying to get the client to spend as much money as possible(ethically) as you can. A friendship can get in the way of this.

I keep my personal and professional life separate. I like having no sales agenda with my friends, andi like selling shedloads to my clients.

 

[Planky1]

Transference is not something I would ever recommend.

Best to keep your private and personal lives very much apart. I know it is hard for some but it is the professional thing to do.

I think this is more difficult when you are working from your own home or are mobile and going into their home. It kind of makes it more personal from the offset iyswim? I think I'd have no problem at all at staying "more professional" if I worked in a spa or commercial salon rather than a home salon. The atmosphere makes a difference IMO. Not that I'm saying I'm un-professional because I'm not, I just think that line as it were, is different. Can't express what I mean tonight!! Lol! Hope you understand what I'm trying to say, it's been a long day :wink2:

 

[jacqueline]

I think this is more difficult when you are working from your own home or are mobile and going into their home. It kind of makes it more personal from the offset iyswim? I think I'd have no problem at all at staying "more professional" if I worked in a spa or commercial salon rather than a home salon. The atmosphere makes a difference IMO. Not that I'm saying I'm un-professional because I'm not, I just think that line as it were, is different. Can't express what I mean tonight!! Lol! Hope you understand what I'm trying to say, it's been a long day :wink2:

Don't worry my dear I know what you are trying to say but truthfully it isn't that much different when working in a bricks and mortar business either, you are still with the client the same amount of one on one time as such. You meet, greet, treat and toodle pip the client much the same as if you go mobile to someones house or treat from your own.

We can be friendly and nice without crossing that line you mentioned.

For example some of my clients hug me without warning but I am not going to invite them round for dinner sort of thing. I am pleased to see them next appointment but have no wish to see them in between.

Transference and how to handle it is normally taught on most longer or more comprehensive courses in our field, although I know on some of the shorter courses it might not even be skirted around.

 

[Planky1]

Don't worry my dear I know what you are trying to say but truthfully it isn't that much different when working in a bricks and mortar business either, you are still with the client the same amount of one on one time as such. You meet, greet, treat, and toodle pip the client much the same as if you go mobile to someones house or treat from your own.

Transference and how to handle it is normally taught on most longer courses in our field, although I know on some of the shorter courses it might not even be skirted around.

I know that all those things are the same but I just feel that when you go into a person's home it's already more personal. You've entered their world as such, they can show you photos, they feel more relaxed and perhaps divulge more than they would if they were in a salon. I'm not mobile but speaking on a personal level. I'm a bit of a heart on my sleeve girl when I'm in my own surroundings (or behind my computer! ) but when I go to the hair salon or when I've been into beauty salons before, I hardly say a word and have, in the past, felt intimidated by it, so just clam up. But come to me and have a cuppa and I'll let it all pour out! :lol:

 

[persianista]

I don't really agree. How you control the relationship with a client comes from yourself no matter where you are. It really is all about control, and using your "airtime" with each client wisely to maximise your income.

 

[tanfastic]

Don't worry my dear I know what you are trying to say but truthfully it isn't that much different when working in a bricks and mortar business either, you are still with the client the same amount of one on one time as such. You meet, greet, treat and toodle pip the client much the same as if you go mobile to someones house or treat from your own.

We can be friendly and nice without crossing that line you mentioned.

For example some of my clients hug me without warning but I am not going to invite them round for dinner sort of thing. I am pleased to see them next appointment but have no wish to see them in between.

Transference and how to handle it is normally taught on most longer or more comprehensive courses in our field, although I know on some of the shorter courses it might not even be skirted around.

Transferance was never covered on my course,but it was a fast track course so not surprising, this is quite interesting. I will have to look It up in context to the beauty industry a little light bedtime reading,LOL
Thanks for the information and I know you are right, I just have to learn how to manage the warm and fuzzy side.

 

[jacqueline]

I know that all those things are the same but I just feel that when you go into a person's home it's already more personal. You've entered their world as such, they can show you photos, they feel more relaxed and perhaps divulge more than they would if they were in a salon. I'm not mobile but speaking on a personal level. I'm a bit of a heart on my sleeve girl when I'm in my own surroundings (or behind my computer! ) but when I go to the hair salon or when I've been into beauty salons before, I hardly say a word and have, in the past, felt intimidated by it, so just clam up. But come to me and have a cuppa and I'll let it all pour out! :lol:

First let me say, you are a nice person that comes across in your posts and I still know what you are saying but like Dawn I don't agree.

It's about how you come across, let the client be friendly show you photographs, make polite noises but always be in control of the situation and steer them back to the treatment as don't forget time is money and all that.

We don't have to agree on everything and although I don't agree with your opinion on this one I respect it. However from a strictly business point of view transference is not a good thing.

 

[lindseym631]

This is something that's been brought up time and time again on my course and there is a whole module set aside for professional issues like this next year, when you start to understand 'why not?' it all makes perfect sense.

I always remember someone I knew saying 'theres no pals in business, end of' and thinking yeah yeah Mr cynicism but now I can see he was quite right.

But seriously, transferance that Jacqueline talks about can be horrible and scary for a client and if they know they can have personal time with you it must be very confusing for some as to what the boundaries and how you must feel about them ect.

If the client is this way inclined and it is made clear that you are only there in professional terms then you are protecting yourself.

Obviously not everyone is like this but some can't help it when vunerable and looking for a kind heart

Some other types of people can seem alright on the surface but turn out to be emotional vampires! That kind of speaks for itself lol.

Good luck with however you chose to deal with this but look out for No1 first!

Lindsey x

 

[souz]

I think that's very sweet. I know this is going to come across as harsh; however, I think it unwise to become personally vested in the lives of our clients. It's emotionally destructive. We must remind ourselves that we can only dedicate ourselves to them for a set amount of time and then we have to let them go.

A very wise business woman in the industry told me years ago after she thought I was wandering down that path, "Think of your clients as stray cats. Collect too many of them and you're going to be overwhelmed. It's better to leave them where you found them."

i totally agree!!and i donw want to sound harsh either, but im worried for those of you who are getting emotionally involved with clients, it must be very draining!! its kind of like a doctor patient relationship, there is an invisible line that shouldnt be crossed. I have my own life and my own problems in my family to deal with at the end of the day, that doesnt mean i cant be sympathetic or go out of my way to give these clients a really special treatment but for me thats it xx

 

[tanfastic]

Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful advice, I respect all your opinions and I am so pleased I asked the question on here. I got answers from people in the industry which is what I needed. Friends and family don't have the same perspective. I have decided to not contact her because I might feel sorry for her and end up crossing that line. After a few days I will be OK but just a little too soon. I always ask my clients to get in touch if they have had a smudging incident or have gone and got their palms all stained up LOL and I haven't heard from her so she is obviously happy with the tan so no need really for me to call her yet. My follow up calls are usually about a week later to try and get a top up booking for when the tan has faded so I will ring her then. Her partner is coming to visit in a fortnight so she will be more cheerful then and also want a Fab tan for when he comes.

 

[pinkcouture]

I think I would avoid crossing that line with clients, especially listening to some of your client horror stories

 

[BABSann]

It is difficult but where do we draw the line?
I had a regular of 9 yrs and she was elderly with a family that didn't care about her( according to her) she said nobody ever came to visit her and she would be on her own Xmas day.

I beat myself up over her and was so tempted to ring her and ask if she wanted to spend Xmas with me but my own family and friends talked me out of it as they said they wouldn't feel comfortable.

I think just being there for our clients and supporting them by letting them know we are there to lend an ear, is the most important thing.
I've called certain clients a few times to see how they're doing if they or their family have been unwell. But generally I try to keep it all on a proffesional level.

We had one client who had moved down here from up north to be near her son and family. Each time she came into the salon I could see she was depressed. She said the locals were unfriendly compared to up north and she hadn't made one friend, her only friend was her husband. Then her husband went into hospital for an op and never came home. To top it off her family moved away so she was totally alone and friendless

She came into the salon in tears and we often chatted. But I suggested so many things to her ie putting her into contact with a couple of other widowed clients or joining the very friendly women's institute and she didn't want to know.

We have to be careful and protect ourselves because it can seriously wear us down especially when we are really caring. Just be there for your clients in the salon. Ultimately you will make your own decision as to what you do but be careful please.

 

[essentia]

I have to echo what has been already said about the dangers of getting involved with your clients and to try and keep things on a professional level at all times. I don't know why but some seem to think as they are paying for a service they also seem to think that they can use that time to unload their emotional baggage lol! Unless you offer professional counselling sessions, I would avoid and steer the client onto lighter topics of conversation. If they are in trouble then give them names of support groups or direct them to their GP where they can get the appropriate support and treatment. This is kinder to them as most of us are not mental health carers :wink2:

Clients who mess you around, who are needy and emotionally dependant, who are suddenly interested in your business, who do not want patch tests for treatments, do not want to pay etc, etc I get a warning beacon go off. We are all human and fall for it sometimes, however we can set the precendent for how they treat us by our response to them and being prepared when they come through our door. :hug:

 

[tanfastic]

I am so grateful for the information I have had from this thread, especially the transferance thing. I wish I had been schooled in that but a short course I suppose only covers the basics. ( I am in no way trying to slag my course or educator off, she did what I though at the time to be a fabulous job) Doing the course certainly lit the fire for me and I am persevering eventually hoping to be as good as some of the geeks who's work I have seen on here.

I wonder if it would be possible for someone who has relevant information or handouts on the Transferance to pop them onto members articles for those of us who missed out on this important module in our training?

Thanks in advance

 

[jurate]

Some interesting discussions here. I love all of my clients (not that i have many). But thus particular one, she had come to me through recommendation and was very first paying eyelash extension client.

Everything is so relaxed and easy with her - conversations flow, we always have a laugh or a good heart to heart and she is so loyal - it makes me feel very warm every time i think of her. She has also reffered me her best friend and mother, they are lovely people , too.

She is the only client that comes with a child (who is perfectly behaved and always sits quietly, no matter how long the treatment takes).

What i am trying to say is... i think, had we met else where, we would be great friends, but as i do treatments on her and charge for them, i still have this barrier on, as getting too close would mean menot having a heart to charge her a full price lol.

I love her to bits, i always count days to the time when her next appointment is, i look forward to seeing her all the time but then i never ever contact her after the appointment, in between appointments and so on, as i feel that would not look professional (unless i would have to contact her regarding her treatments).

I hope i dont come across inconsiderate here, but thought i would share a bit of my experience

Jurate xx

 

[tanfastic]

Some interesting discussions here. I love all of my clients (not that i have many). But thus particular one, she had come to me through recommendation and was very first paying eyelash extension client.

Everything is so relaxed and easy with her - conversations flow, we always have a laugh or a good heart to heart and she is so loyal - it makes me feel very warm every time i think of her. She has also reffered me her best friend and mother, they are lovely people , too.

She is the only client that comes with a child (who is perfectly behaved and always sits quietly, no matter how long the treatment takes).

What i am trying to say is... i think, had we met else where, we would be great friends, but as i do treatments on her and charge for them, i still have this barrier on, as getting too close would mean menot having a heart to charge her a full price lol.

I love her to bits, i always count days to the time when her next appointment is, i look forward to seeing her all the time but then i never ever contact her after the appointment, in between appointments and so on, as i feel that would not look professional (unless i would have to contact her regarding her treatments).

I hope i dont come across inconsiderate here, but thought i would share a bit of my experience

Jurate xx

Certainly not inconsiderate, I know how you feel, sometimes you just click with a person and would have been best friends. Interesting Dilemma, good friends are hard to come by and life is too short to lose out on the chance of building aspecial frindship.....but
A client is different, I always try to remind myself that I only see them briefly every time. Would they be as nice if you knew them day in and day out ?
Quick personal anecdote to illustrate the point. When I first came to England we lived in Cornwall, my husbands cousin and her husband came to visit us from Norwich. We clicked instantly and when they left to come home we were always on the phone, came to Norwich to visit with them, I found a job here and we moved to Norwich, Mainly because we had such GREAT friends here already. We havent spoken now for nearly 8 years !!! Once we were here and seeing each other regularly it went sour, she is fab in small doses but gets wierd after a lenghty time 1 and a half hours usually. Sorry to ramble but I always remember this and how hurt and disappointed I was

So enjoy those snippets of fun but remember it might be different if you were friends

 

[jurate]

Certainly not inconsiderate, I know how you feel, sometimes you just click with a person and would have been best friends. Interesting Dilemma, good friends are hard to come by and life is too short to lose out on the chance of building aspecial frindship.....but
A client is different, I always try to remind myself that I only see them briefly every time. Would they be as nice if you knew them day in and day out ?
Quick personal anecdote to illustrate the point. When I first came to England we lived in Cornwall, my husbands cousin and her husband came to visit us from Norwich. We clicked instantly and when they left to come home we were always on the phone, came to Norwich to visit with them, I found a job here and we moved to Norwich, Mainly because we had such GREAT friends here already. We havent spoken now for nearly 8 years !!! Once we were here and seeing each other regularly it went sour, she is fab in small doses but gets wierd after a lenghty time 1 and a half hours usually. Sorry to ramble but I always remember this and how hurt and disappointed I was

So enjoy those snippets of fun but remember it might be different if you were friends

I know what that feels like... from personal experience as well - used to have a great friend, we spent hours together and had lots of fun untill... we had to share a room for whole four days! I learnt a few things about her, that sort of made our friendship go sour. Havent spoken to each other for a couple years now although nothing major happened, but since that time the way i see this person has changed a lot. Maybe, she feels the same about me, i never really got a chance to find out

Jurate xx

 

[Melk]

Tranferernce goes both ways if you expect more from your client. If you give or except gifts. There is alot to it. I have had clients who are closer than clients because I come from a small community but still try and keep the sessions more about what the client is paying for and outcome. I'm not even supposed to acknowledge my clients outside of treatments but that is impossible as most I've known all my life and to ignore them would be rude and obvious. As the ignoring part is for privacy reasons it would actually become glaringly obvious who my clients are if I ignored them here. Transference is of course when you expect more than a professional relationship, start thinking of clients as friends and vice versa. It's a fine line easier to avoid in city's than small community's for sure.

 

[jacqueline]

I don't ack my masage clients either until they say hello to me first if I see them out and about, especially important for my male clients as maybe their wives don't know they come in for massage. It's all about privacy and confidentiality.